Merry Effing Christmas
by Solo Ensemble
Summary: Liason & Nohnny. Jason and Johnny storm the MetroCourt Hotel in search of the Rosebud, taking Elizabeth, Nadine, and half the town hostage on Christmas Eve.
1. Chapter 1

**Note – **Amick and Amber are galloping whores and made me do a Christmas story. Amick gave me an idea and I took some liberties with it and twisted it around a bit. Here's what happened next.

**Merry Fucking Christmas**

**.: A dark street corner in Port Charles, NY :.**

"This the place?"

"You should know better than I," Johnny snorted, looking down at his phone where he had a map of the area pulled up. "Aren't you from this town?"

"I was born here, lived here for about two years," Jason replied, glancing cagily up and down the street. He didn't particularly care to be spotted. Not that they could be missed – with him, Johnny, and a bunch of their guys milling around behind them, awaiting orders, they were quite a conspicuous sight. "But then we moved to the city. You know that."

"Whatever, all your quaint American towns are the same to me. Port Charles, Manhattan, no big difference."

Jason scoffed. "You can't say that anymore – you've been living in the States for a few years now. You _know_ the difference between Port Charles and Manhattan. It's the difference between a Maclaren and a hamster in a fucking wheel."

Johnny laughed at that and looked up at the building in front of them, stretching into the dark wintry skies. "Fine, I'll give you that. But you should still know whether this is the place or not."

"I've never been to the MetroCourt," he pointed out. "All I know is that AJ's ex-wife runs it. Candy. Cassie. Crackie. Something like that."

"Carly," Johnny corrected, clicking away on his phone. "Caroline Benson Quartermaine Corinthos Jacks, apparently. And yup, this would indeed be the MetroCourt Hotel. We made it."

"Great." Jason picked up his black backpack and, brushing off the snow, strapped it on. Johnny did the same. They picked up their custom-made utility belts and the Uzis they'd just picked up a couple hours ago in Queens, and advanced on the hotel.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**.: MetroCourt Hotel :. **

"I'm going to tell him I'm a lesbian."

Elizabeth burst out laughing. "Nadine, you can't _do_ that!"

"Of course I can," her fellow nurse squawked, visibly shuddering when Lucky Spencer came into view. The police officer had been searching her out all evening, and she'd turned avoiding him into an art form. "God, he can't take a hint."

"He thinks you're cuuuute," Elizabeth snag, drawing a few curious looks from the other party-goers. "He wants to doooooo you."

"You've had too much," Nadine hissed, grabbing her drink. "Give me that. I need it more than you do."

She laughed as the younger nurse downed the pomegranate kir in one gulp. "You're awful."

"Awfully interested in staying the hell away from him," Nadine agreed. "I'm sorry, but how many times do I have to turn him down? This is way past pathetic and has advanced into stalkerish."

"I think it's kind of cute."

"You wouldn't if you were on the receiving end," she scowled. "You know, maybe I ought to try the old bait and switch – put in a good word for you, and bail."

"I hope not," came a voice from behind her, and Nadine tried not to groan when she and Elizabeth spun around to see Lucky standing there. "It's too early for you to leave the party."

It was clear he hasn't heard the first part of the conversation, and they were grateful for that. Nadine plastered a fake smile on her face and nodded. "You know, you're right. I think I'll stick around for a bit."

"Glad to hear it," Lucky smiled. "I was actually wondering if-"

"Oh, hold that thought," the nurse interrupted, handing him the empty glass and grabbing Elizabeth's arm. "I have to powder my nose. Be right back!"

And with that, she practically dragged Elizabeth off. Once she knew that Lucky couldn't see them anymore, Nadine doubled back and pulled Elizabeth around the side of the room until they were standing near the door.

"Ugh. Some party this is turning out to be."

"You've been telling him you have to go powder your nose all night," Elizabeth noted. "He's going to get suspicious."

"I'll convince him I have a cocaine problem," Nadine shrugged, looking over when the door opened and a gust of wind swept in with a couple of tall, dark strangers. "It shouldn't be so hard."

"Remember that time you convinced Matt that the ritualistic sacrifice of small animals was part of your religion?"

"Served him right for being in PETA and trying to force me to become a vegan."

Elizabeth shook her head with a smile. Nadine was the best, with all of her crazy boy-drama. It was almost like every time she turned around, Nadine was fending off yet another guy that was absolutely smitten with her. When they'd get together at Jake's after work, Nadine would tick off all the things about the given gentleman that were horrible, and Elizabeth would be in stitches.

She never resented her friend for the fact that she was so eagerly sought after. Nadine was beautiful, funny, smart, and a very nurturing woman, the kind that instantly attracted attention. But instead of being conceited about it, Nadine just chose to poke fun at it.

Sometimes, Elizabeth felt like Nadine reined herself in a little when complaining about her suitors, mainly because Elizabeth wasn't nearly so sought after.

To her credit, Elizabeth never let that bother her. She'd never been the life of the party; in fact, she was more like the wallflower. Her sister Sarah had always been the one that boys drooled over, and Sarah preferred to soak up the attention that came her way instead of sharing it with anyone. So Elizabeth was usually left in the sidelines, but she eventually learned that it wasn't so bad, because it let her get to know great girls like Robin and Nadine and Emily and, more importantly, become more comfortable in her own skin.

She knew who she was, and Elizabeth realized that was more than could be said for a lot of people. She knew how she fit in with these people, all of them crammed into the lobby of Carly's amazing hotel on its third historic opening night after it had nearly been demolished by a fire a year ago.

She was Elizabeth Webber, a trusted and respected nurse at the local hospital. She was the youngest Webber child, the perpetual girl-next-door, the town sweetheart. Sure, hers wasn't the most exciting life, but it was warm and secure and filled with good friends, and she couldn't have asked for more.

"Why are we always harassed by weird guys?" Nadine wondered aloud, snagging another pomegranate kir off a passing server's tray as she looped her arm around Elizabeth's shoulders. "Like, why can't we be harassed by really hot guys? Like those, over there."

Elizabeth looked to where she was pointing and saw several men dressed in black pants, boots, and thick black sweaters. A couple wore wool caps, but the two tallest ones that stood in front had gone without, and a light dusting of snow had settled on their hair.

"Oooh, dibs on Blondie," Nadine growled, giving her a playful shake. "You can have the tall one."

"Agreed," Elizabeth chuckled, knowing there was no way she'd work up the courage to talk to the intimidating young man with broad shoulders and dark hair. "And while I'm dreaming, I'd like a pink pony."

"You always say that," Nadine pouted. "I've been getting you pink ponies for your birthday for three years now, and you still always say that. Ungrateful much?"

"They sure are cute, though."

"How drunk do you think they have to be before we can do things to them?"

Elizabeth choked a little. "Uh…"

"Oh, never mind," Nadine cut in cheerily. "They're coming this way!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Jesus Christ," Johnny grumbled. "I hate townies."

"I hate this _town_, period," Jason muttered, barely resisting the urge to sweep a glare around the room. "And I hate upstate New York. Bunch of prissy bastards who don't realize what complete hicks they are."

"Tell us how you really feel."

"Look, let's not waste any time." Jason signaled to his men. "We got the information and it told us that the Rosebud was here. We just have to find it before the others figure out it's here and come for it."

"We can't let them get it," Johnny agreed. "The hard part's behind us – we tracked it down. It's somewhere in this hotel. And since the main floor is the only floor that's operational, that means it's right here. Somewhere."

"And between all of us, our odds of finding it are good." Jason nodded at his men, who nodded back. "We get it before the others, we get the hell out, and we get it back to headquarters."

"I wish all these fucking people weren't here," the younger man groaned. "Look at them. Drinking. Dancing. Spreading holiday cheer. Who needs that bullshit?"

He caught sight of a pretty blonde in a purple silk dress, standing next to a brunette in a red one, and stopped for a moment. "Well, hello, look at those two."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Will you just focus on this? Think we could get everyone to leave if we pulled the fire alarm?"

"That would take too long and get the cops over here," Johnny sighed, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from the leggy blonde. "No, we're better off just going for it."

"I was hoping we wouldn't have to."

"Same here, but we have to get the Rosebud. Let's just do this and go so we can get the hell back to drinking."

"Seriously." Jason adjusted his grip on the Uzi and lifted it easily, high up in the air. "All right, people, everyone needs to sit down and shut the fuck up. We just need one thing, and we're not leaving without it. No one has to get hurt here."

Johnny moved swiftly into the room as the people parted at Jason's announcement, noticing that the hot blonde from earlier was now gaping at _him. _He winked and felt the corner of his mouth curve up.

"Merry fucking Christmas, everyone."


	2. Chapter 2

**Merry Fucking Christmas | 02**

Jason swung his Uzi in a lazy arc at his side, aware that everyone was staring at him but not particularly concerned. Johnny had already moved into the center of the room and was taking stock of their surroundings. Their men had come up behind him and Johnny was issuing quiet orders.

He already knew where he'd look for Rosebud first, so Jason took a minute to check out the partygoers they'd stormed in on. There were several elderly men, a fair amount of middle-aged men, just a couple guys his age, a wealth of middle-aged women, and a good enough amount of young women.

His gaze came to rest on the two women that Johnny had noticed earlier, and he considered them briefly. The brunette in red was hotter than the blonde in purple. The blonde seemed more Johnny's style; he was way into blondes and always had been, even back at their preparatory school in Oxford.

As for Jason, he didn't really have a type, but he noticed how the blonde one in purple had her hand on her hip and was arching her back, watching the whole situation shrewdly. Her mouth was curved into a pinched frown, and he just had a feeling that her attractiveness was matched by her inner crazy. The brunette, on the other hand, had her chin tucked a little, and her large eyes were on him and the others as she quietly took stock of the situation.

Something told him that her inner crazy didn't match her friend's, and she wasn't as reactionary as other women might have been. He didn't know anything about her, but these simple clues culled from her body language hinted that she'd be better suited for him.

Ugh, now he was the idiot that needed to focus on the task. If John caught him zoning out like this, he'd never hear the end of it.

Before he moved to join his best friend, Jason caught the way that one or two of the older men moved slightly to shield the brunette from his gaze as he walked past. An older woman was behind them and leaned closer to the girls, and the brunette caught her gaze and offered her a small, forced smile. Obviously, he'd hit on something here. This woman wasn't just a random guest: it was clear that she had ties to several people in this room.

Well, well. He may just have happened upon a local sweetheart. She might come in handy later.

He was standing at Johnny's side, vaguely frowning at the townsfolk. Why the fuck did they all look so scared? He had been very clear earlier: They needed something and they wouldn't leave until they had it, so it was in everyone's best interest to stay the fuck out of their way. It wasn't rocket science, and he couldn't figure out why some of these people looked like they might faint.

Jesus.

This was the problem with townies: they were all completely clueless. This was why he hated small towns like Port Charles so much. He'd been born here as the bastard son of Alan Quartermaine, and thankfully, his mother had the sense to move him to Manhattan when he was a toddler so he wouldn't have to put up with all the idiots.

His great-grandfather Edward Quartermaine had made it possible for him to attend one of New York's best private schools, and Jason had always had a good, albeit long-distance, relationship with him. When he hit his teenage years, his mother decided that a move to England was in order. She moved in next to her brother's house in Oxford, and Jason had started attending a preparatory academy where he had met Johnny for the first time.

When they moved across the pond again after matriculating, it was Johnny's first time in the states and Jason had been the one to show him around New England. They'd always stuck to the big cities, but now their travels had taken them to upstate New York, and Jason just wanted to get the Rosebud and get on out.

He really hated this goddamn place. The Brothers knew of his unfortunate ties here; it figured that they'd send them back.

Thankfully, Monica Quartermaine wasn't here. Neither was his asshole father, nor Edward. The entire Quartermaine family had fallen out with Carly, who Jason had never met personally, after she and AJ, the legitimate son, had divorced, and the grudge was still very much intact, apparently. That was the silver lining here: at least he didn't have to deal with any of those people. Edward wasn't bad at all, but it still wasn't worth dealing with the rest of those bastards just to see him.

"Where's the owner?" Johnny snapped his fingers, his gaze landing on Jason's ex-sister-in-law. "You. Candy. Get over here."

"It's Carly," the woman growled as she slowly made her way closer, making Jason smirk. Johnny knew very well what her name was and had deliberately chosen not to use it.

"Doesn't matter," his friend replied in that typical cavalier tone of his. "Are the other floors of this hotel accessible?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Carly gritted her teeth. "There was a fire here a year ago. Everything's been closed down since."

"And no one's had access to those floors in that time aside from your contractors?"

"Correct."

Johnny turned to him, ignoring the fuming blonde. "I really don't think it's going to be up there. It'd be too risky – someone could find it, it could have been built over, destroyed, any number of things could have happened."

"I'm with you," Jason agreed. "It's got to be on the main floor somewhere."

Carly didn't like being ignored, especially when she was being held hostage in her own hotel. "What are you assholes looking for?"

"Easy, sweetheart," Johnny sneered, moving right past her and shouldering her as he did. "Biting your tongue might spare your tongue. Think about that."

He motioned to one of their men. "She's annoying. Get her away from me, over there with the others."

He stood with his hands on his hips in the middle of the room, considering their options. "If we managed to track this thing down to the Metrocourt, it won't be long before the others get here."

"Ethan was saying that he heard they were right behind us in Queens when we were picking these up," Jason said, swinging his Uzi up into the air. A couple of the women screamed and he glared at them, instantly silencing them. "Right, Ethan?"

The man in question nodded. 'Yeah, I tossed a tracker on one of the cars the last time they were chasing us down. We lost them, but they almost caught up to us in the Burroughs. And if they managed to catch up to us there…"

"It won't be long until they find us here," Johnny agreed quietly. "There's got to be a way to throw them off our trail without leaving the hotel."

"Or you could leave and take this pissing contest somewhere else," Carly called out angrily, causing Johnny to roll his eyes.

"Can't we muzzle her? Her voice is like nails on a goddamn chalkboard."

"We're not leaving until we get what we came for," Jason informed her icily. "What if we make the hotel look deserted? We almost missed this place – maybe we can throw them off."

Johnny snapped his fingers, already running with the ideas. "The windows on the sides of the building open into the alleys. If we make sure the lights are off in those rooms, no one would be able to tell. That just leaves the front doors. Ethan, you still got that spray paint?"

"Plenty," came the answer as the one known as Ethan took off his backpack and pulled out three cans of the stuff. "I brought along extra for that message we left on the side of that abandoned warehouse. Figured, better safe than sorry."

"Black out the windows," Johnny ordered. "Make sure no light gets out. If we can throw them off the trail, we can buy ourselves some time and really scour this floor."

"You are NOT blacking out my win-"

"Relax!" Jason's terse voice silenced Carly's yell and he waved his gun, signaling his men to keep her back. "We'll take care of it. Look, it's in your best interest to put up with us now – as soon as we have it, we'll be out of here."

"_What_ are you after?" a tall man with golden hair asked, and Jason recognized him as his ex-sister-in-law's new beau. AJ had mentioned that Carly had roped another rich businessman into marrying her – or at least, proposing – and this had to be the guy. Jack something or other. "What is it?"

"You don't need to worry about that," Johnny replied breezily.

"Maybe I can be of assistance," Jack something or other persisted. "I'm Jasper Jacks."

Oh, Jason thought. Jasper. Not Jack. Jasper. That was still a fucking dumb name, and if this guy was honestly engaged to Carly, he was pretty fucking dumb, too.

"How lovely for you," Johnny sighed, clearly uninterested.

"I can get you whatever you want."

"Unless you know where the Rosebud is, no, you can't."

"I can get you money," Jax cut in. "However much you want if you just leave. No one has to get hurt."

"That's what we've been saying," Johnny snorted. "And, please – it's not your money we're after. Your money couldn't be less interesting to us, Mister Jacks."

The rest of the men chuckled at the offer, clearly in agreement with the young man.

"Look, if you leave right now-"

"Someone get him to shut up," Jason interrupted, sounding bored, and one of their men moved forward to subdue Jax. He sat down next to Carly, but remained clearly on edge.

"Are those windows blacked out yet?" They almost were. "Good. Alright, let's spread out and look. Some of you stay here, just in case someone's been planted to get the Rosebud out of here before we can find it."

"You four over there, you two over there, you three over there," Johnny directed. "Ethan, you stay with me and Jason. The first thing we need to do is find someone who knows his or her way around this place."

"If we started working our way over from there-" Jason turned, and as he did so, caught a flash of movement in the corner of his eye. His reflexes were sharp – occupational hazard, really – and before his assailant had a chance, Jason reared back and struck him. The man went down instantly like a sack of potatoes, and a couple women screamed.

"Lucky!"

Jason looked up and instantly met the terrified gaze of the pretty brunette from earlier. Realizing she had screamed, the woman had clamped a hand over her mouth, but it was too late. He'd already heard her.

Johnny, too, was looking at her, and saw the horror in her eyes. "You – who is he? What's his story?"

The brunette stared at him, her fingers trembling slightly, and it was clear Johnny's terse bark wasn't going to put her at ease. Jason cleared his throat and her eyes darted back to his, and he gestured to the young man on the floor.

"Who did I just knock out?"

She must have responded to the calmness in his quiet tone, because she lowered her hand from her mouth. Swallowing nervously, she began to wring her fingers. "Uh…He's Lucky Spencer. He's a cop for the Port Charles Police Department."

Johnny rolled his eyes, turning angrily to his best friend. "You knocked out a cop? Jesus Christ, what the hell's the matter with you?"

"I had no way of knowing he was a cop," Jason retorted, stepping over the man's body. "Besides, he'll be fine. He'll wake up with a headache and be fine."

"Yeah, and toss your ass in jail," Johnny grumbled.

"Yeah, when has that ever worked?"

"…Good point." He cleared his throat and planted his hands on his hip, his Uzi casually tucked against his side. "Okay, like I was saying before you were so rudely accosted, we need to pair up with someone who knows this place and search this floor from top to bottom."

All three of them looked at Carly, who, though pale, scowled back.

"Not her," Johnny said quickly. "She annoys the living fuck out of me."

Carly's shoulders straightened, and they could almost hear Jax sigh with relief.

"How about…" Johnny's gaze slid toward the brunette that had answered Jason's question and her blonde friend in purple that he'd admired earlier. "…those two?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Note – **I don't know who this update is for, but it is NOT for that slut Amber. She's a slut. In case any of you were keeping track.

**Merry Fucking Christmas | 03**

"Us?" Elizabeth squeaked, seeing Nadine in the corner of her eye as the blonde tried to inch away.

"Yes, you," Johnny replied impatiently. "Get over here. Both of you. No use trying to hide behind Beardie over there, Princess."

Nadine scowled and poked her head out from behind a tall, bearded gentleman. "I wasn't hiding."

"Yes, you were."

"I wouldn't give you the satisfaction."

Johnny grinned at that. "And what do you think you know about my satisfaction?" His grin only widened when her cheeks turned a dull red. "Exactly."

"We don't have a lot of time," Jason broke in. Leave it to Johnny to flirt with anything in a skirt while they were on a mission. "You two, get over here."

"We probably won't be much help," the blonde that Johnny had taken a liking to piped up. "We just got here…yesterday. It's our first time at this hotel. In fact, I don't even know where the bathroom is. It's been an, um, uncomfortable evening."

"Nice try," Jason replied blandly, arching a brow at them to hurry up and quit stalling. "But we've been watching you since we got here – you're definitely from here, so there's no use trying to waste our time pretending you're not."

The two exchanged curious looks and Jason realized a little too late that he'd admitted that they'd caught his eye – and Johnny's too – shortly after they arrived. Even Johnny was looking at him with a rather amused look, and Jason didn't like that feeling.

"You, too." He gestured to a young brunette in gold, who was standing by an older woman with dark hair. "Ethan, see what they can tell you about who's been in the area in the past couple days, specifically the hotel.

"You take the blonde, I'll take the brunette," he said to his friend.

Johnny shrugged, looking far from displeased about this turn of events. "Fine by me."

"I have a name, you know," Nadine scowled instinctively before remembering her circumstances. "Uh…never mind."

"Of course, you do, how insensitive of us," Johnny smiled, making Jason roll his eyes. That fucker was so transparent when it came to pretty girls. "We didn't even get through the proper introductions. I'm Johnny. You are?"

She was regarding him suspiciously but took his outstretched hand because there really didn't seem to be much choice in the matter. "…Nadine."

Jason looked down at the petite brunette in front of him, who'd started nervously chewing on her lip. "Jason."

A moment of silence so long it was almost laughable, and then, "…Elizabeth."

"Excellent," Johnny beamed. "Now that we've got that taken care of, ladies, perhaps you wouldn't mind showing us around."

"I'll take the lobby desk and you take the bathrooms?" Jason asked. Johnny nodded. "Great."

His friend turned to Nadine. "I need you to show me all the restrooms on this floor, including the ones that might be in the employees' area."

Nadine gritted her teeth and, braving one last glance at her best friend, slowly led him away.

"All right, let's go." Without waiting for a response, Jason moved toward the back of the long lobby. The people parted immediately as he strode near, and he barely paid them any mind. People always seemed to do that when he walked through a crowd; it was probably his intimidating size.

Elizabeth was following, but far too slowly for his liking. "Hurry up," he snapped over his shoulder. "I can't be here all night."

"What do you even need me to do?" When he slipped behind the desk, she arched a brow sardonically at him, and he smirked a little at the thought that the kitten had claws. "You hardly need my help finding the desk, since you're already behind it."

"Just get over here," he suggested blandly, waiting until she acquiesced. "Hold this."

He handed her the Uzi he held but, before he noticed her shocked expression, thought better of it and pulled it back. "Nah, never mind."

With that, he strapped it to his side and pulled a retractable flashlight out of his utility belt. He left it on the counter, barely hearing the rest of the guests tittering at what had just happened.

The register-like appliance – really, it was designed to look like an old fashioned cash register – was bolted to the counter, so he didn't waste his time. Besides, if it held anything, even a clue, that would already have been discovered by the several employees that used it on a daily basis.

He scanned the countertop with his fingertips, feeling for any loose panel or compartment or sliding top, but found nothing. It was all airtight.

"What?" Elizabeth asked, and he realized that he'd actually chuckled out loud.

"Nothing," he smirked, going over the counter one last time. "I almost accidentally hit the emergency button. That would have sucked ass."

"You almost hit the emergency button?!" she half-shrieked, and it startled him so much that Jason almost dropped the flashlight.

"Yes," he hissed. "Jesus! What are you flipping out for? I said, _almost_. Christ, woman."

She started to laugh, but it was that weird, strung-out kind of laughter, and Jason frowned sternly at her before resuming his inspection. Maybe he'd been wrong about this one – maybe she had as much inner-crazy as her friend.

…Maybe he should have picked the blonde.

But it was too late for that now, so Jason continued exploring the desk, all the while grumbling under his breath about hysterical women.

"This is why I hate Port Charles," he groused. "All you goddamn townies with your…Hey!"

Her hand had moved to near where he was, and his first thought was that she was trying to cover up something she'd just noticed that might have helped him in his search. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she said quickly – far too quickly.

He looked where she'd put her hand and saw nothing by there except the Police Call button. "Ugh, whatever. Just do me a favor and stop touching things."

Women. Always touching things.

Elizabeth was silent for a while as he searched the entire registration desk from top to bottom, finding nothing.

"…You said you hated Port Charles."

"I _do_ hate Port Charles," Jason grumbled, shoving the boxes of receipts back in frustration. Nothing.

"…You make it sound like you've been here before," she said softly, and he answered mainly because he was glad she wasn't cackling in that crackhead way of hers that put him on edge.

"I have," Jason replied lightly. "A long, long time ago."

"And you've never been back?"

"Nope," he answered. "Until tonight."

"Right," she said slowly, sounding glum. "Until tonight."

"Take this." He shoved the flashlight in her hand after a long silence. "Point it for me. Right there. I think I see something…"

Elizabeth did as she was told, not seeing how Carly rose from her seat as if to stop them before Jax grabbed her hand. "Is that…?"

"That's fine," he said, feeling around for the snag he knew he'd felt earlier. If he was lucky, it was a secret compartment, right on the top shelf, just underneath the register. "Come on, come on…"

It gave way and he let out a whoop, scrambling to pull it loose. It was a narrow compartment tucked away behind a false wall, and he lifted it and set it on the counter. The rest of the partygoers were still staring at him, and he found that annoying.

"Listen, you people can go back to whatever it is you were doing," he said as his men continued to mill around the lobby. "We'll be out of here soon anyway."

But he shouldn't have spoken so fast. When he opened the little box, Jason didn't find what he'd been looking for and instead found a few folded up papers and some pictures.

"Aw, what the fuck…?" He scowled and opened up the first note. If it wasn't a clue to where the Rosebud was, this had been a total waste. He scanned the letter quickly, frowning, then looked up.

"Which one of you is Sonny? Sonny Corinthos?"

A dark haired man grunted, and Jason rolled his eyes. "Listen, you stupid fuck, if you're going to write a woman sexually explicit messages, do it through text. Or email. Something that doesn't leave an embarrassing paper trail, because women save that shit. Join the twenty-first century already."

He tossed the letters back in the box and held up the photographs. He'd seen the top one but didn't feel the need to flip through them with Elizabeth standing by his shoulder and sweetly peering into the box with him. He had to admit, he liked her curiosity.

"And Carly?" He waved the pictures at her. "At your age, you should know better than to take nude pictures. They always get out, anyway."

He tossed them to her and Carly scrambled to catch them as Jax looked on in shock and dismay. "You know, I should be surprised, but I'm not. You cheated on your first husband with your second, you probably cheated on your second one with this poor idiot, and you're cheating on _him_ with pint-size Marlon Brando over there."

Shaking his head, he replaced the box with the letters and took the flashlight from Elizabeth. She was staring at him in open-mouthed surprise, her lips forming a perfect "o," and he shrugged down at her.

"Well, I hope Johnny's having better luck than we did."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"You ever had sex in a bathroom?"

Nadine rolled her eyes, resisting the urge to dry-heave. "Oh, God."

"Frankly, I find the idea appalling," Johnny continued, and his aversion surprised her. He noticed her gawking at him and frowned. "What?"

Nadine tried to say something but couldn't, and so just opened and shut her mouth stupidly.

"Don't tell me you're fond of the idea."

"What? No!" she squawked. "I just – you said – I thought you were-"

He looked confused at first and then broke out in a wide grin. "You thought I was propositioning you? To have sex in a bathroom?"

He laughed when she shrugged, and Nadine bristled at the insult. "I'm flattered, sweetheart. And impressed."

"Impressed by what?" she couldn't resist asking.

"The obviously high esteem in which you hold yourself," Johnny replied flippantly as he searched the tanks. "Let me guess, you're one of those chicks that guys chase after all the time. All the fucking time. And when you're confronted with one that doesn't want to get into your pants, it blows your mind because, damn it, they should _all_ want to get into your pants."

He was saying all this completely out of his ass, just to shock and offend her and get a rise out of her. She really was cute when she was irritated. But when he looked at her, Johnny found Nadine looking at him with wide-eyed curiosity.

"…You don't want to get into my pants?"

She asked the shockingly provocative question so sweetly that he couldn't help but smile. "Well, sure I do," he winked, "but you're not supposed to know that."

Nadine rolled her eyes, her lips settling into a peevish line, but he saw her smirking. "Can we get out of here now?"

"Almost."

He picked a corner and walked slowly around the perimeter of the bathroom, knocking on the wall with two knuckles and listening carefully to the echo.

"Really?"

Johnny arched a brow at her. "Yes, really. The Brothers warned us that extreme measures had been taken to hide the Rosebud, and we should leave no leaf unturned."

"What the hell's a Rosebud?" she demanded, throwing her hands up in the air. "And who are these Brothers? Seriously!"

"You don't need to know," Johnny replied dismissively. "In fact, I've already said too much."

Nadine gritted her teeth but stayed silent as he finished his scan of the bathroom walls. "Nothing, huh?'

"Airtight," he sighed, heading over to the sink. "Give me a minute and you can show me where the file room is."

"Oh, goodie," she muttered, washing as he rolled up his sleeves, rinsed, and began to lather his hands up several inches past the wrist with soap. He washed it all off only to do it again, and she couldn't hold back her curiosity. "Is that really necessary?'

"I touched _toilets_," he replied witheringly, glaring at her over his shoulder. "In a public restroom. Do you have any idea how unsanitary public restrooms are? And we're in the women's room – those are, on average, three times as dirty as a comparable men's room."

"What do you want from us? We have to sit while we tinkle."

"An egregious design flaw, to be sure," he said, drying off quickly, "but no excuse. All right, let's go."

She reached for the door and Johnny followed her out, still grimacing. "I still can't believe people actually willingly have sex in one of these things."

"For a criminal, your sensibilities are surprisingly delicate."

He grinned and looped an arm around her waist, making her squawk and wrench herself away. "Darling, there ain't nothing delicate about my sensibilities, and don't you forget that."


	4. Chapter 4

**Merry Fucking Christmas | 04**

They met up in the narrow hallway, cramped and frustrated, and Nadine and Elizabeth quickly looked each other over to make sure everything was okay.

"Excuse me for a minute," Jason said off-handedly to Elizabeth, without looking down at her, and motioned for Johnny to step a pace or two away with him. Nadine and Elizabeth, watching them guardedly, slowly inched closer to each other.

Nadine grabbed her best friend's hands as soon as she could. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Elizabeth assured her. "What about you? You sure you're okay?"

"Nothing ruffled but my feathers," she groused, frowning slightly at Johnny, who stood with his hands on his hips, brows furrowed, as he listened to Jason talk. "That guy's really something else, you know that?"

"Yeah, Jason's no walk in the park, either," Elizabeth grumbled before she remembered something and clutched Nadine's hand again. "Oh! Guess what? He found out that Sonny and Carly are having an affair!"

Nadine's jaw dropped. "…Oh, my _god_, Emily totally called it, didn't she? Damn it! Is he sure? Is there any chance I don't owe her fifty bucks?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "He found this box under the main desk that had, like, all these letters that Carly saved from Sonny, and some naked pictures of herself that I think she was planning to give him, and one or two of them together."

"Like, together-together?"

"Together-together."

"Gross." Nadine made a face, horrified by the mental image. "What happened?"

"Jax looked like he was going to explode, but he kept quiet, probably because of Jason and the rest of the guys walking around."

"Yeah. Poor guy. You know, I always liked him. Not like _that_," she huffed, rolling her eyes when Elizabeth frowned sternly at her. "You know what I mean. He's a nice guy and he doesn't deserve all the shit that harridan throws his way."

"You guys find anything while you were searching the bathrooms?" Elizabeth asked hopefully. "They said if they found the Rose thing or a clue they'd get out of here. Jason thought he'd found it when he pulled that box out."

Nadine just shook her head. "Nope. He searched all the tanks, all the dispensers, and even checked to see if the walls were hollow. Then he washed his hands twice and cried about germs and made fun of us girls for having to sit when we tinkle."

"Bastard," Elizabeth bit off, glaring at the tall Italian. Johnny must have felt her eyes on him because he turned slightly just then and looked at her. Seeing her glare, he flashed her a wink before turning back to Jason, and Elizabeth bristled.

"I told him that for a criminal, his sensibilities were surprisingly delicate, and then he leered at me and made lascivious comments," Nadine pouted, watching her unwanted partner in crime, but without Elizabeth's malice.

"Oh! Oh, man, I have to tell you this." Elizabeth made sure Johnny and Jason were otherwise occupied and turned them both slightly so there was no chance of being overheard. "Something really, really weird happened when Jason was searching the desk."

"What?"

"He told me to hold his gun."

Nadine's lips parted. "That horny little-"

"Not _that_ gun," Elizabeth hissed. "Jeez, Nadine! I mean his actual gun! The big black one! He asked me to hold it for him while he searched."

"Like, he actually handed it to you?!"

"Yes! He held it out and put it in my hands, and at the last second he pulled it back and gave me his flash light instead." She leaned closer, glancing furtively over her shoulder at the two men. "What kind of armed criminal gives his hostage his gun?"

"…I have no idea," Nadine got out, her voice quiet and awed as she, too, looked over her shoulder at Johnny and Jason. "Elizabeth…what's their _deal_?"

"I guess we'll have to find out."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Excuse me for a minute." Jason turned to his best friend and tipped his head to his right. Johnny drew away with him so they had some privacy and folded his arms over his chest.

"Nothing, huh?"

"Well, I found out that AJ's ex-wife is cheating on her fiancé with some other jackass," Jason sighed. "But no, nothing related to the Rosebud. The main desk and that part of the lobby are clean."

"I searched all the bathrooms, looked in all the tanks, and checked all the walls." Johnny's expression was tight and frustrated. "Nothing. And then Nadine decided that clearly, I wanted to put it to her in the bathroom."

"…Why?"

"I might have asked her if she'd ever had sex in one."

Jason rolled his eyes. "You are such a fucking idiot."

"What?" Johnny looked genuinely offended. "Stop trying to push your bathroom-sex agenda on me. Just because some of you like it doesn't mean all of us do. Some of us care about germs."

"Whatever. Don't knock it until you've tried it."

"You should bathe in Lysol."

"Okay, this isn't getting us anywhere," Jason reasoned. "Where are you headed next?"

"I told Nadine to take me to the file room. With our luck, there's some elaborate trail of clues that will lead us to wherever the Rosebud is in this fucking hotel. The Brothers _did_ tell us that whoever hid the Rosebud last went to great lengths to make sure it was hidden well."

"All right, sounds good. I guess I'll look in the staff lounge over there with the coat room and all that shit. Elizabeth probably knows what else is back there."

"Got it." Johnny looked over at the girls and Jason wasn't particularly surprised when he winked at them. The kid really was a consummate flirt. If it had a skirt, Johnny would chase after it and make no attempt to be subtle. "Boy, we sure picked a couple of weird ones, huh?"

"Yeah."

"…Hot, though."

"…Yeah."

"Nadine's kind of nutty."

"Elizabeth was laughing like a strung-out crackhead when I told her I almost pushed the emergency button by accident," Jason shrugged. "I'm sorry, but shit like that freaks me out. She seems kind of normal, otherwise, though."

"Yeah, you pawned the high-strung one off on me."

Jason rolled his eyes. "You weren't complaining at the time."

"Oh, I'm not complaining," his best friend clarified. "You know how I've always enjoyed a challenge."

"Frankly, I'm surprised it's taken you this long to win her over," Jason drawled. "You're slipping, asshole."

"Whatever. Elizabeth's looking at you like you're something foul that she stepped in."

He glanced over at the brunette in alarm only to find her talking to Nadine. When he turned away, Johnny was grinning. "Made you look."

"How old are you?"

"Whatever, you care what she thinks."

Jason growled and, grabbing his shoulder, half-shoved his friend down the hall. "Go look in the damn file room. Elizabeth?"

She looked up when he called her, and Jason waved her over. "Come on, we're going this way."

The girls looked at each other warily, and he saw Nadine whisper something to Elizabeth before the two finally let go of each other's hands and turned in opposite directions. Jason glanced suspiciously down at the brunette as she found her way to his side, but she didn't look up at him, and it troubled him.

It was clear from her guarded expression and body language that she was up to something, and he almost groaned aloud. Damn it, he should have known better than to drag two girls into this with them. In his defense, though, both he and Johnny had been blinded by flirty silk dresses and long legs in stilettos. That sort of thing could turn even the smartest man into a blithering idiot.

Well, this just wouldn't do. Obviously, the girls were up to something, and he'd have to stay on his toes to make sure they didn't mess this up for him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Merry Fucking Christmas | 05**

"So, uh….how long have you been doing this?"

"Breaking into secured premises?" Johnny grunted as he used his lockpick to work the lock to the file room. "Since I was a little boy."

Nadine rolled her eyes. "_No_, genius, doing…this. Breaking into places and looking for things out of the _Citizen Kane_ movie."

"_Citizen Kane _is so overrated," Johnny snorted as the lock gave way and he pushed the door open. He held his hand out to usher Nadine in first, the eternal gentleman even when he was casing a joint for valuable object hidden within, and Nadine would have followed his directive had she not been staring at him in open-mouthed horror.

"How can you say that?!" she hissed, throwing her hands up in the air as Johnny stared at her like she'd lost her damn mind – which, he had to admit, probably wasn't out of the realm of possibility with the nutty blonde. "_Citizen Kane_ is one of the best movies ever – it was way ahead of its time, a cinematic giant, revolutionary, the peak of American cinema and Orson Welles's career."

Johnny rolled his eyes and leaned against the doorjamb. "Ugh. You _would_ think that, wouldn't you?"

Nadine scowled ferociously at him and breezed into the file room with her nose in the air. "I'm not speaking to you for the next half hour."

Johnny pushed himself away from the wall with his shoulder and ambled into the tiny file room after her. It was the room that held all of the hotel's receipts and tax returns and he had a feeling that if there was a carefully hidden clue anywhere in the hotel, it would probably be here.

"_Citizen Kane_ was a solid movie, no doubt about it," he said magnanimously, amused by the way her eyes narrowed suspiciously at his concession. "But it lacked emotional impact. Some say that was intentional. I say that argument gives the movie undue credit, and accords it an unreasonably high estimation of its own self-awareness."

Nadine's hands clenched into fists but she remained true to her word not to speak to him.

Johnny continued, wondering how long it would take him to push her into an outburst. He did so enjoy a challenge, and Nadine was proving quite a spirited – and attractive – one. He hoped that she couldn't see his amusement as he continued, because that would have taken some of the fun out of it.

"You say it's the greatest movie of all time," he drawled. "Jason would agree with you. My sister, Claudia, made him watch it once after he'd broken his leg while riding one of our horses. She figured he was in bed, taking up a room at our house that she could have stored her shoes in if it wasn't for his inconsiderate clumsiness, so she made him watch it with her."

Nadine was listening to him intently but trying to hide it, and he realized it was the first personal thing he'd told her about himself all night.

"His argument," Johnny continued, shaking off that thought, "is that the film's greatness is in the novelty of its camera angles, it's deep focus, its prismatic non-linear narrative structure. At least, I assume that's his argument. Whenever I say it's not all that great and challenge him to correct me, he just slugs me in the gut and tells me it's 'one of the best fucking movies' he's ever seen. I assume, though, naturally, that he's talking about non-linear narrative structure. What else could he mean by that?"

Nadine was starting to smile and, realizing that he caught her, frowned sternly at him. Johnny just grinned, which seemed to upset her more. It was comical.

"I will concede those points. However, I'm never swept away by the story, which is just a mockumentary of Hearst, that American publishing giant of yours. I'm very _aware_ that I'm watching a movie, which isn't the mark of a great movie. A great movie is engaging and makes me forget I'm watching a movie. Like _Taxi Driver_. Or _The Departed._"

To his surprise, her eyes lit up at the mention of those films, but Nadine quickly squelched her excitement. It puzzled Johnny, who had assumed she wasn't familiar with those titles, much less a fan.

"Certainly, it's influential. But then again, Hitler was influential. The word is hardly a mark of greatness."

Sure enough, that drew her out, as he knew it would.

"Oh, I KNOW you're not comparing Hitler with _Citizen Kane_!" Nadine screeched as Johnny, pretending to be unconcerned by her outburst, selected a file cabinet and began working the lock. "You stupid clod! I can't believe you'd even-"

He grinned to himself as he picked at the silver mechanism, thinking about how easy she was sometimes. "It's an enjoyable film for its different technical aspects, to be sure, and it was a powerful influence on the _film noir_ of the forties and fifties, at least, in America. But America was always a little behind the curve, don't you agree?"

Her endearing little scowl made it clear she didn't.

"However, it's simply not an enjoyable story. There's little in the way of plot development, of investment. A movie is more than a series of great scenes, Nadine. The magic of a movie is how it connects those great scenes into one grand, massive, great-scene of a movie. And _Kane_ falls regrettably short."

"_You _fall regrettably short," she groused, folding her arms over her chest and watching as he began leafing through the files he unlocked.

"I assure you that many of your fairer-sex cohorts would disagree," he replied blithely. "If anything, _Kane_ deliberately avoids straight chronology, and I find that avoidance…smug. There are conflicts, sure, like with the five characters, Thatcher, Bernstein, Leland, Susan Alexander, Raymond the butler. Thatcher represents business, Bernstein signifies Kane's newspaper career-"

"-Leland equals friendship, Susan is romance and love, and Raymond is life at Xanadu," Nadine ticked off on her fingers. "You're not telling me anything I don't already know, Ebert."

Johnny shared an indulgent smile with her as he moved on to another promising cabinet to jimmy it open. "My apologies for thinking I had to outline it for you that way. But my point is, certainly, there are conflicts with each of these characters and what they represent. However, there's no central plot, no central conflict for Kane the Man. That is where the movie is pitifully lacking."

"_You're_ pitifully lacking," Nadine grumbled as he began to look through a fresh set of files.

Johnny shot her a lascivious smile. "Wouldn't you like the chance to test that theory?"

Her eyes narrowed and he was sure that if everything in the room wasn't bolted down, Nadine would have thrown something at him. So, he safely changed the subject.

"Anyway, Kane remains distant from us, because of his money, because of the way he isolates himself from other characters." He paused as he leafed through the files, and Nadine noticed.

"What?"

"Nothing," Johnny sighed, quickly shaking himself out of it. "It's just…damn it, there's nothing here."

"You've only searched two cabinets," Nadine pointed out, wondering why she was trying to help him. There was just something about him that made her reactionary, that made her want to hit him one minute and do mischievous things with him the next. "Show me how to unlock that one, I can do it."

"And give you Ol' Rusty?" Johnny asked incredulously, holding up his pick. "No, thank you. I'm fine. Anyway, the disconnect between Kane and the viewers is fatal to the film. If your main character can't connect to the audience, what's the point? The main reason it's lauded as the greatest film of all time by people like you and Jason is because of its mythology."

"Oh, please."

"Don't tell me you're not impressed that Welles was only twenty-five when he starred in and directed the film," Johnny said, moving on to the next cabinet. "Plus, the innovations of photography usually attributed to that one guy, that photographer…"

"Toland."

"Toland," Johnny agreed. "And the fact that a cash offer was made by Mayer to destroy the film's negative, contributing to its cult status that carries into the mainstream, the intriguing parallels between the movie and Hearst's life, as well as between the movie and Welles's life, and the movie's near blackout by Hearst, plus its lack of full national release, and the Hollywood establishment's spurning of the movie and of Welles during Oscar season, and Welles's subsequent degeneration and relative banishment from Hollywood despite his undeniable genius. See?"

He tipped his chin at her. "If you could see that hang-dog look on your face right now. You're totally taken in by the mythology."

"I happen to like mythology," she snipped. "I think it adds to the movie rather than detracting from it."

"A valid point, but a film shouldn't have to rely so heavily on its mythology in order to be considered great. Basically, _Citizen Kane_ is like one of those books that you read in high school that you only read because it's important and canonical and you have to. Like _Candide_. Who likes _Candide_?"

Nadine snorted. "You read _Candide _in high school?"

"Yeah," Johnny frowned. "Didn't you?"

"I read it on my own in college," she countered, arching her brow. "What kind of high school did you go to?"

"Jason and I went to a preparatory school in London. It was one of the funnel schools to Oxford, where we both ended up."

Her jaw dropped. "You…you guys went to Oxford? Oxford University?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe you." Her eyes were narrowed again, but he could see the glimmer of curiosity there.

"What's not to believe?" Johnny snorted. "We were in Oxford together and then we skipped across the pond. What's so unbelievable about that?"

"Then WHY are you doing this?" Nadine shrieked. "What the _hell_ is wrong with you that – Oh, no."

Her shriek had distracted Johnny and, alarmed, he'd accidentally sliced his lockpick through his palm as he was trying to unlock the file cabinet. "Damn it!"

She was at his side instantly, prying his hand free so she could examine it. "Oh, jeez, you really got it in there, didn't you?"

Johnny scowled at her and tried to yank his hand free but Nadine, as a nurse, had practice with unruly patients. She was a pediatric nurse, so most of her patients were four or five, sure, but at the moment, she didn't really see much difference between them and the big baby standing next to her. "What do you mean, _I _really got it in there? If you weren't such a screaming harpie, I wouldn't have-"

"I don't think it's deep enough to need stitches," Nadine said, examining the wound while trying to keep her hands clean. He was starting to bleed and she wanted to get the gash wrapped up. "Hold on, there's a first aid kit around here somewhere…"

"I have antiseptic and gauze in my belt," Johnny sighed, gesturing to the compartment with his good hand. "Just get it from there."

Nadine figured he didn't want her running off to get the kit from some other room because he thought she'd run away and cause problems for them, which she probably would, and so she just did what he said and found a tiny spray bottle of antiseptic right where he said it would be.

"Jeez," she muttered, looking at his utility belt. "What all do you have in there?"

"Just the basics," he shrugged.

She pushed him over to the tiny desk in the corner and made him sit down on it so she could patch him up. "Like?"

"Well, I've got the spray and the gauze and some surgical tape," he ticked off. "Twine. A flashlight. Liquid sulfur. Breath mints. Thermite. OW!"

Nadine smiled sweetly as she sprayed him with the antiseptic, then did it again for good measure just to make him shout. "What? I've got to make sure I've cleaned it properly."

Johnny growled at her as she continued cleaning his hand. "You did it just because I don't think _Citizen Kane _lives up to the hype."

"Oh, most definitely." She smirked at him and for a moment he forgot what he was going to say next. That disturbed him tremendously, so Johnny just launched back into his list.

"Uh, I've got a couple GPS trackers. Pliers. Tweezers. A couple joints, but those aren't for business."

Nadine smirked and continued wiping away the blood carefully from around the gash. Her hands were warm, her fingers soft and strong at the same time, and Johnny just sat back and watched her work.

"…I can't believe you don't like _Citizen Kane._"

"I never said I didn't like it," he pointed out. "Just that I didn't quite buy into the hype. I appreciate the film, but I don't think it fully merits the immense praise heaped upon it."

"No one normal uses the word 'upon' in a sentence, genius."

He leaned closer, seeing the surprise in her eyes when she looked up and saw him smiling wolfishly. "Oh, Nadine, I think you know by now that there's _nothing_ normal about me."

He was delighted to see her blush prettily, and Nadine quickly returned her focus to his hand. Johnny just smiled at her as she stood between his legs, the tips of her ears still colored, and tried to ignore him.

"All I know is, the fact that you don't like the movie can only mean that you're a horrible person."

"Inside and out," he agreed happily, mostly because it seemed to annoy her. "I guess it's because I didn't grow up on this stuff like you Americans did. I grew up on French films that exemplified the _quteur _theory of film, and-"

"You are so pretentious."

His lips parted and Johnny just stared at her as she applied the bandage and taped it in place. "I…I am not! I'm _cultured_. Since when is it a crime to be cultured?"

"When you walk around talking like a pretentious jerk," Nadine smiled, this time because it seemed to annoy _him_.

Johnny frowned at her as she finished taping him up. "…I'm _not_ pretentious. I'm stick with a clinically insane sidekick, that's what I am. Christ."

"Because you're so pretentious _and_ incompetent, I'm confiscating this." Nadine plucked his lockpick from his hand before Johnny could stop her. He lunged for it but she held it behind her back, shaking her head. "Nope. Clearly, you can't be trusted to use it without slicing it through your hand. When one of my little patients gets into something dangerous, he gets it taken away. Nurse Nadine doesn't tolerate any of that."

"Nadine, I am hardly one of your little patients," he scowled. "Give it back."

"Nope," she smirked, palming it and making a fist when he tried to take it from her again. "And honestly? Your tactics of persuasion could use some work."

He smirked back at her, figuring it was worth trying another tactic and put his hand on her waist, meeting her gaze directly. "Really?"

Nadine's eyes narrowed slightly at his low drawl, but she allowed him to pull her just a little closer.

"Because I assure you, Nadine…" He was grinning now, his gaze drifting lazily down to her lips, his hand firmly on the curve of her narrow waist as he pulled her closer little by little. Her breath caught a little when Johnny's lips almost brushed against hers, and his warm breath fluttered over her skin. "…I can be _very_ persuasive."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Elizabeth flipped on the lights for the staff lounge, feeling Jason come up behind her. The heat he gave off bled through the thin purple fabric of her dress and she found herself frowning over her shoulder as he just lurked there, oblivious to the fact that he was built like a damn furnace.

She shivered despite herself, drawing a curious look from him, and moved farther into the room as he followed. "Here we are."

"Small for a staff lounge," Jason snorted, looking around the tiny room.

"What do you mean? I don't think it's that bad."

"Look at this place," he said, gesturing around the enclosed area. "There's one window. One little circular table, one small plasma, one refrigerator, one little bookshelf, three chairs over here, and one coat closet. I'd bet you just about anything that the employees at the MetroCourt aren't organized."

"You mean, like, in a union?" She wrung her hands together as Jason nodded. "You know, I don't think they are. I think they were trying to join a union before the fire, but nothing ever really came of it. I saw a couple of them wearing buttons for the local chapter sometimes when I came here, though."

Jason snorted in thinly veiled disgust and squeezed past her, making quick work of checking the room. She watched him tap the walls and the bare floorboards, presumably looking for hollow spaces, and he checked under the table, chairs, and even lifted the bookshelf a little to see if there was anything behind it or underneath.

"How did you know?"

"Huh?" He was barely paying attention to her as he righted the shelf and slid it back in place before sweeping a small area rug out of the way with his foot and tapping on the floor boards underneath.

"How did you know the workers here weren't in a union?" She asked, more curious than irritated. Jason was an absolute puzzle, and she just couldn't figure him out. They'd had a number of strange conversations all night, and the more she drew him out, the more she was beginning to think that there was more to him than just a common street thug. He knew things that were pretty esoteric, and he saw things in a way that most people didn't.

"The layout of the break room gives it away," he said, squeezing past her again on the way to the closet, and if it wasn't her imagination, Elizabeth would have sworn that his hands lingered on her waist longer than necessary. And had he smelled her hair as he moved behind her?

Good thing she'd used that leave-in with the banana and mango extracts before she left the house.

"Look at how small it is. No more than seven people can sit in here at one time, three over there and four at the table, and not even four, because they've got it bolted so close to the wall. So, five or six, really. And you can fit one more, at the most, two, in here if they stand. This room was meant for people to kill time between double shifts, or wait for their ride if they got dropped off."

She was looking around the room as he searched the closet, starting to see what he meant.

"This room was designed so that people wouldn't _want_ to hang out in here," Jason continued. "And if they're not hanging out here, then they're not sitting around talking about how they should unionize. And if I had to guess, I'd say that they're told to go home straight from work and change out of their uniforms. A lot of places have the same rules."

"The bellhops have to leave their jackets and hats here," Elizabeth said over her shoulder. "There's a coat room down the hall. They're all hanging there with their name tags and ID numbers."

"Yup," Jason sighed, and she heard him close the closet door. "That's what I thought."

Elizabeth jumped a little when she felt his rough hands on her shoulders, and when she looked up she saw that he was gently placing a jacket over her shoulder.

Jason tipped his head toward the closet. "One of the clerks' jacket, it in the closet over there. You were cold earlier."

"Oh." She clutched the jacket closer as he slowly drew away. "Yeah. Thanks."

She pushed her arms through the sleeves and pulled her hair out from under the collar as he moved into the center of the room, just looking around. "…Didn't find anything, huh?"

"Not a thing," Jason sighed. "Damn it. All the information I dug up told me that it was here. We've been searching for two or three hours now and nothing. Nothing."

Elizabeth found herself telling him that it would be okay, they'd find it, and then she remembered her circumstances and mentally kicked herself, wondering just what in the world was wrong with her. She was aiding and abetting a criminal, a man that had stormed into the hotel and taken everyone hostage. All she had to do was keep her head down, just do what he told her, and when the cops inevitably came, tell them everything she could.

But it was harder to remember that the longer she stood back and watched him. He was tall and broad-shouldered and intimidating, and she could instantly see how other men wouldn't want to risk going against his owners. But for most of the time they'd been together that night, he'd been…almost gentle with her. Sure, he barked at her to hurry up or shut up or whatever, but he always answered her questions and held the door for her and never invaded her personal space unless they were in tight quarters, like now.

There was definitely more to Jason than met the eye; she couldn't write him off as just another criminal. And she couldn't let the evening end without figuring him out, either. There were so many unanswered questions here, like why he handed her his loaded Uzi, or why he so proudly exposed Carly's affair with Sonny, or why he knew so much about unions and hotel administration and pulmonary embolisms, which they'd discussed shortly after he'd finished searching the main desk, for reasons she couldn't remember now.

And of course, there was the matter of the Rosebud and the Brothers that he kept referring to. Who were these Brothers? Did Jason work for them, or were they some shadow organization that Jason and Johnny were pitted against? Did the Brothers own the Rosebud? Had they been the ones to hide it? Were they searching for it, too, and trying to outrun Jason and Johnny? Would they soon descend on the MetroCourt as well? And just what the hell was this Rosebud anyway?!

These questions and more bounced around in her head, making it ache, and Elizabeth frowned, snapping out of it when Jason very lightly brushed his knuckles against hers.

"Come on," he said, reaching for the doorknob. "Let's go see if John and your friend Nadine are having any luck."


	6. Chapter 6

**Merry Fucking Christmas | 06**

"I can be _very _persuasive."

Her breath hitched without her permission as Johnny gazed at her through heavy lidded eyes, his lips so close that they practically brushed against hers. And just when she knew –_knew_- that he was going to kiss her, Nadine would have leaned back and captured his lips between her fingers, pinching them lightly and making him look like a duck.

That is, she _would_ have done that, but Jason saved her the trouble. She had no sooner leaned back, away from his kiss, when the door opened and Jason stepped in.

"Aw, Jesus Christ, John!"

Johnny practically fell off the table when his friend yelled, and he looked over guiltily to find Jason glowering at him as Elizabeth peeked out from behind his shoulder. "What?"

"Are you serious?" Jason folded his arms over his chest, looking cross. "You're supposed to be helping us find this goddamn thing and instead you're locked in here trying to get some."

Nadine's jaw dropped. "Oh, please, like he was going to get any."

"That's why I said _trying_," Jason emphasized like she was an idiot. "Of course he wasn't going to get any. Jesus."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence," Johnny scowled, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Shit."

"Elizabeth and I searched the lounge and came up with nothing," he informed him. "We're heading to the coat room. Have you even searched this room yet?"

Johnny looked around cagily. "I…searched _some_ of it."

Jason let out a frustrated huff and left the room as Elizabeth stared curiously at an embarrassed Johnny and a smug Nadine.

"Christ, you're an asshole."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"I think he likes her."

Jason smirked to himself. "No offense to your friend, but Johnny likes anything in a skirt."

Elizabeth arched a brow at him. "No offense to _your_ friend, but Nadine likes anything in boxers."

Jason let out a laugh as she reconsidered her words. "Well, not _anything_ in boxers. She can't stand Lucky."

"Who?"

"That guy you knocked out when you came in."

"Lucky's a dog's name."

"It's short for Lucas."

"Still a fucking stupid nickname." He glanced over at her as they walked through the coat room. "What's his deal, anyway?"

"He liked Nadine and came on too strong," Elizabeth shrugged. "She was always avoiding him and turning him down and he just never got the hint. Nadine likes the kind of guy that's a challenge, that won't let her walk all over him, that isn't desperate for her attention. Probably because she's not desperate for anyone's attention, either, and can't figure out people who are."

"And what about you?" Jason asked lightly, cocking a brow. "What kind of guy do you like?"

Elizabeth's lips parted but no words came out, and this made Jason smirk. "I, uh…I guess…I'm not all that picky."

"That's not an answer," Jason pointed out. "Everyone's looking for some _type_."

"I don't really have one," she repeated with a shrug as he began to push through the jackets, looking for something possibly hidden behind them. "I've dated the would-be rock star, the businessman type, the bad boy type…It wasn't so much a _type_ that I liked, but different qualities that each guy had."

She chuckled to herself as he searched through the boxes piled up above the racks. "I guess I'm about due for dating a doctor type."

Jason stiffened at that and looked over his shoulder at her. "…What makes you say that?"

"Because I'm a nurse," she shrugged. "I'm surrounded by doctors all day at the hospital. That's practically where I live, really. I figure I need someone that understands how much I love my job, but also how much time I spend there, how invested I am in that place. It's hard for someone that's not in the medical field to understand that, you know?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know. When you're in that position, there's a lot of stress and pressure. And very little down-time for friends or family or hobbies. And there's nothing you can do about it; the people in your life just have to understand that. And you wouldn't really change it, either, because you enjoy what you do."

"Exactly," she nodded along, amazed at how well he understood what she was trying to say. "It's rewarding – the patients themselves, making them feel better, being there for them when they need you."

"Figuring out a really difficult diagnosis and the most effective form of treatment," Jason added. "Figuring out the most effective way to attack a really aggressive disease, knowing which tests to run and knowing _exactly_ what other diseases those first results rule out without even having to run the additional tests, just the rush of the whole thing…"

She was watching him carefully as he rambled, as it was the first time all night she'd seen him do so. "…You sound like you really know what you're talking about."

"Uh…my father was a doctor, so I guess I must have remembered that from him," Jason replied lightly, and she got the feeling that it was his way of ending the conversation. However, she wasn't prepared for the realization that it disappointed her. "Damn it. Nothing here, either."

She hung back as he swept past her, surprised when Jason grabbed her hand lightly and tugged her along with him. "Where are we going next?"

"Oh, you'll like this one," Jason smirked at her over his shoulder. "You got that flashlight I gave you?"

Elizabeth nodded and held it up. "Yeah. Why?"

He pulled her out into the hall and once again, they headed into the staff lounge. "Because I want to get a look at the vents. You want a boost?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"What do you mean, I wasn't going to get any?" Johnny pouted, his arms around Nadine's waist in a lazy bid to win back his lockpick. "I could have gotten some."

"Nope," Nadine shook her head sadly. "Sorry. Wasn't going to happen."

"I could have," he insisted. "What makes you so quick to say something so malicious? Maybe it's _you_ that wouldn't have been able to get any. Did you ever think about that?"

His question made her grin and Nadine put her hand on his chest. "Look, you're a boy. I could _totally_ get some."

"You could totally get some," Johnny agreed at the same time, having reconsidered his stance. "Fine. It's true. I'm easy that way."

She laughed until he quickly tried to snatch his pick from her hand. "Hey, now! I told you, I confiscated this."

"Nadine, I'm serious," he warned. "That's my favorite lockpick."

"Buy another."

"That has sentimental value," he persisted. "Besides, you can't just go to Barney's and pick one out. Lockpicks are illegal to purchase, sell, or own in this state. In many states."

"…You couldn't just say Target or Kmart, could you?"

"…What's a Target?"

"Urgh!" She spun around, moving easily out of his grasp, and began to walk through the rows of file cabinets. "You are ridiculous, you know that? You should be told that more often."

"And you should really give me back my pick."

"I don't think so," she snipped. "The last time you had it, you sliced it through your hand like an idiot."

"Because _you_ were screeching!"

"Excuses, excuses," she chirped. "Besides, you could probably pick this stuff apart with a bobby pin, right? Or a credit card?"

"Lockpicks are better," Johnny informed her crossly. "Lockpicks are bad-ass."

"Well, you've got me there," she muttered, tossing the little metal device to herself. "Too bad you don't carry an extra one in your little Batman utility belt there, huh?"

"I didn't anticipate running into someone of your _singular_ personality," Johnny drawled, sending her a sickly smile that Nadine rolled her eyes at. "Otherwise I would have packed extra. Or hidden one in my mouth, like Batman."

"What?"

"Don't you remember that episode where Batman's handcuffed and he's been stripped of his belt and all his other weapons? You see him work his jaw and all of a sudden a pick slides out that he's been hiding in his cheek. He uses it in his teeth to pick the locks and he's free."

"Oh, from the really old episodes," Nadine replied, snapping her fingers. "Yeah, I got those for the play room at the hospital. The kids love Batman."

"Smart kids," he muttered, grabbing at her again and this time successfully catching her around the waist. "Now hand it over."

She laughed as he grabbed her and twisted away. "I don't think so. You've been an ape all night – when's it my turn to be a bad-ass?"

"What did you have in mind?" he challenged, his hands still on her waist.

Nadine glanced at the cabinet he had her backed up against. "I bet I could get this open in under two minutes."

Johnny snorted. "Yeah, right. Go for it. I'll time you."

She shot him a superior look and turned, gripping the pick carefully between her fingers and inserting it into the lock like she'd seen him do. She felt around blindly, not sure of what she was doing but rather certain that it couldn't have been that difficult.

With her ear pressed up against the metal cabinet in hopes that it would help, Nadine worked the lock as best she could, applying force when she thought she should, probing deeper when she thought she should, and finally, she heard what she hoped was a tell-tale snap, and then it was, because the lock gave way and the door slid free.

She turned around with a delighted grin. "I did it!"

"In two minutes and twenty-seven seconds," Johnny smirked, showing her the small timer on his watch. "How unfortunate for you."

She gave him a little shove as he laughed, then moved aside to let him search through the files. "Anything?"

"Ugh. Tax records from like two years ago. Useless."

"What should I do next?"

"You should give me Ol' Rusty."

"No, I meant, what cabinet should I pry open next?" she smiled, moving over to the one at the end of the row. "How about this one? I'm getting good vibes from it. Let's see what's inside."

"Look at you," Johnny murmured, coming up behind her as she inserted the pick. "A couple hours in my care and you're already a criminal. Nadine Crowell, I do believe I like your style."

"You'd be a fool not to," she snipped playfully, biting her lip when she couldn't get the pick to move the way she wanted it to. "Hmm."

"Not like that," Johnny said, putting his hand over hers to guide it. "Turn it this way, at this angle, until you feel it hit something jagged, with steps. That's the mechanism you need to leverage in order to get the other part to snap free."

"I know what I'm doing."

"You're just making clinking noises right now, is what you're doing," he corrected, coming up even closer to show her how it was done. She was practically in his arms now, his chest lightly grazing her bare back, and her curls tickled his cheek. "Damn it, woman, make love to it, don't just rut around."

She elbowed him in the gut, lightly, but hard enough to make him catch his breath and cough, and Johnny laughed despite himself. "Please. I've seen you stabbing away at one of these. Seems like you're the one that could use a lesson or two in 'making love to it' as opposed to rutting around."

He knew he was just asking for a kick between his legs, but in that moment, he couldn't have cared less. Johnny turned his lips toward her ear and slid his knuckles up and down her side. "Wouldn't _you_ like to find out what I already know about that."

Nadine elbowed him again in the stomach – harder this time – and he groaned as he pulled back, keeping a hand there protectively. "Keep it in your pants, Johnny."

"Are you done yet or are my grandchildren going to have to show you how to open that damn thing?"

"Give me another minute alone in this room with you and I'll make sure you're unable to have grandchildren," she replied lightly, unable to keep the smile from her voice. Johnny huffed and pinched her side, and she reached out blindly to smack him. "There!"

"Two minutes and three seconds," Johnny noted. "Not bad. Still unfortunate."

"Oh, come on, you have to give me that one," Nadine insisted. "The only reason I went three seconds over was because you were trying to do rude things to me."

He rolled his eyes but that wasn't a good enough response, and Nadine poked his chest. "You have to give me this one," she repeated, and he was struck for a moment by just how bright her eyes were in the poorly lit room. "It's _Christmas_."

He sighed heavily and relented. "All right. Good job, Nadine."

She shot him another superior look – she was frighteningly adept at those – and moved aside so he could examine the files. "Anything?"

"Receipts from two years ago," he sighed. "Okay, this is getting me nowhere. Give me the pick so I can get through the rest of these."

To his surprise, she handed it over without a fuss and Johnny made quick work of going through the two rows of cabinets, pulling out the drawers and scanning through the folders for anything unusual.

"Damn it."

Nadine sighed and laced her fingers together as she followed him out of the room. "Where now?"

Johnny turned and wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. "Now? Carly's office."

She shrugged and stepped into the hall, and they walked side by side all the way down to where Carly's office was way at the back of the first floor of the MetroCourt. Johnny watched her out of the corner of his eye as they walked, and the corner of his mouth twitched.

"You ever had sex on a desk?"

Nadine rolled her eyes as he pushed open the door. "Oh, stop."

Johnny grinned and followed her into the massive room. "Frankly, I find the idea _enticing_."


	7. Chapter 7

**Note **– God, I want to finish this story so badly. I'm close to the end, too, just about two or three more chapters. And then maybe a sequel. Maybe a sequel called Happy Fucking New Year. Maybe a sequel called Happy Fucking New Year where Jason and Elizabeth go on a secret mission, and Johnny and Nadine just do it a lot.

:-|

You guys, seriously, I can't be trusted.

**Merry Fucking Christmas | 07**

.: Carly's Office :.

"So you never answered my question about sex on a desk."

"You never answered my question about STDs."

Johnny shot her a withering look as Nadine turned away to hide a smirk. "You never _asked_ a question about STDs."

"Is that an evasion tactic?"

"I have never had an STD!" he had to stop himself from bellowing. Jesus, what was with this girl? She went from being the most goddamn attractive thing he'd seen all week to so infuriating that he wanted to lock her in a closet.

"My, my, you get so defensive…"

"Nadine, I swear to God-" He looked over to see her standing by the wall-mounted shelves where Carly had a picture of herself and her kids from her various husbands. Nadine picked up one of the frames, grimaced, and then put it back.

"What?"

She looked over at him, her eyes wide with surprise that he'd seen her, and parroted the question back without meaning to do so. "What, what?"

Johnny smirked as he jimmied open the last drawer in Carly's massive antique desk that he hadn't rummaged through. "I take it you don't like the proprietor of this establishment very much."

Nadine rolled her eyes and wandered around the room, finally ending up back at the desk where he was. "Carly's a goddamn shrew."

"Tell me how you really feel."

She shrugged despite the teasing lilt in his voice, not even amused. "You know, I really shouldn't even come to any of her parties just given how much I hate her, but they're always so fun. I hate myself for attending, even, but what can you do?"

"Why do you hate her so much?"

"She's just…have you ever met a truly awful person? Someone who's awful to his or her core, and whatever redeeming qualities they might have had, years and years and…_years_ ago are just completely overshadowed and eroded by massive quantities of fail?"

"Yeah."

"…Carly makes those people look like Mahatma Gandhi."

He had to laugh at that, even though his search of Carly's desk had officially just become fruitless, with nothing in the secret drawer except files, a pair of sequined heels, and a silky article of clothing that he wouldn't have touched with a ten-foot pole.

"I know this one guy that knows her," he said slowly, not wanting to give too much away about Jason's family and his connections to this town. "He used to live by here, a long time ago, and got out as soon as he could. God, he _hates _her. It would shock your conscience how much he hates her."

Johnny glanced up at Nadine and found her eyes narrowed and gleaming, and he could practically see the wheels in her head turning. He'd have to be careful not to divulge too much; this one looked like she would jump on anything he had to say until she had him confessing anything and everything.

…Girls like that were so troublesome.

He glanced at her long legs as she leaned against the desk, his gaze traveling down the creamy expanse of pale skin until he reached her insanely high stilettos, and the sight appeased him and so Johnny quickly forgot about her being so egregiously troublesome.

"You know a guy who lived in Port Charles and knew enough of Carly to hate her?" She was watching him carefully, shrewdly, and if he hadn't been the sort of man he was, doing the sort of things he'd always done, Johnny would have been nervous. As it was, he knew enough to keep his shoulders squared, his stance a little wide and evenly balanced, his mouth relaxed, and his gaze calm and bland and a little amused. "What are your ties to this town, John…?"

She had obviously just remembered that she didn't know his last name, but Johnny wasn't going to dignify that. "I've never been to this town before," he scoffed, which was true. "I should think that part was obvious."

"Well, maybe, but-"

He didn't give her a chance to finish. "I spend a lot of time in the city, though. Even though I'm not technically from New York. It's a small world; I know a ton of guys with ties to the upstate region. The one I was just talking about, Alan, I know him through a friend. He was born in Port Charles and escaped as soon as he could, but not before realizing you were dead on about Carly. He says the same thing about her, actually, now that I think about it. How she's just an awful person down to her core."

Nadine was picking at her nails, her eyes still narrowed as she watched him search the bookshelf behind Carly's desk and the far wall. "What helped him arrive at that conclusion?"

"He and Carly dated for a while," Johnny lied. Carly had dated her fair share of men, but she'd only married a relatively small number of them, and he didn't want to give Nadine the tools she'd need to figure out that he was talking about AJ Quartermaine. Even though she didn't know that AJ was related to Jason, he didn't want his own name linked with the most well-known family in this Podunk town. This was a one-time gig: get in, find the Rosebud, and get out. It definitely wasn't prudent to sit around and establish links.

Johnny glanced over his shoulder and saw Nadine still leaning against the desk, her long legs crossed at the ankle, playing with a lock of her blonde, curly hair.

…Aw, fuck.

"Anyway, yeah, uh, he and Carly dated for a while," he stammered, gently knocking on the wall to see if there was any hollow space carved out there. "She messed him up pretty bad, stole some of his money, sank a portion of his family's investments, set his grandmother's garden on fire, and lost him his job at a great investment firm that he'd wanted forever, slept with his father. And his cousin. And his former boss at that investment firm, whose wife ended up divorcing him. So yeah, basically, total destruction. After that, he knew he had to leave town for his own sanity."

"Sounds like Carly," Nadine chuckled, and Johnny knew he'd successfully distracted her. "Well, Geraldo, have you figured out there's nothing in this crypt, or do we have to stay and keep poking around?"

He spared her a dry look over his shoulder. "I'm looking for the safe."

"The safe?" Nadine looked puzzled. "I don't think Carly would keep a safe. That's all old-timey and stuff. The hotel has a vault – a really great one. There was a hostage crisis here once, and-"

But Johnny wasn't interested. "No, no, I don't mean the actual vault. That's for the hotel's money. I'm talking about the safe in Carly's office that she has to have. For _her_ prized possessions."

Nadine was barely listening. They had that going for them mutually. "Hey, do you think the thing you're looking for could be in the vault? It'd be a great place to hide it-"

But Johnny was already shaking his head. "Nope. That's too easy. Whoever hid the Rosebud has more integrity than to stick it there, the first place any common thief would think to look."

There was so much wrong with that statement that Nadine just stared at him for a moment. "Integrity? Really? Among you thugs?"

Johnny smirked at her, looking so perfectly devious that Nadine could only look at him. "You've never heard of the Thief In Law? The thief that abides by the Thieves' Code?"

"…Is there such a thing?" she asked nervously. "I, uh, I'd think it would be kind of a free-for-all when it came to thugs like you guys."

"Not so, not so," Johnny clucked, moving along the wall and taking his time. He'd never tell her, but she had made his mission far more enjoyable than he'd any right to hope for before. "The Thieves' Code exists, and it's not to be taken lightly."

"…What does it say?"

"The Thief in Law developed in the prison gangs of Russia," he explained. "They governed the dark gaps in Soviet life beyond the reach of even the KGB, if you can imagine that. That environment bred a society of mutual support that most people can't even comprehend. They adopted this system of collective responsibility, and that was how the Code was born. It's what we all abide by when we head out on our missions."

"What does it say?" Nadine repeated tersely. The boy really was completely and unnecessarily long-winded when he had a good story that he _knew_ she wanted to hear.

"Under the Code, the thief must forsake his relatives, for one thing."

This made her frown. "…Really?"

"Sure," Johnny shrugged. "We don't do it in the larger sense, like how those men did it. But you can bet your ass that none of our mothers or fathers or brothers or sisters know what we do in this organization."

"Really? No one in your family knows?" She crossed her arms and watched him shrewdly. "Given your love of hearing your own voice, I find that hard to believe."

He rolled his eyes. "Absolutely no one in my family knows about this."

"Uh-huh. Suuuure."

He whirled on her so fast Nadine actually took a step back, surprised by the way his eyes blazed, all amusement gone. "My mother's dead, my father doesn't give a shit _what_ I do unless I agree to join his business and live my life under his thumb, and my sister doesn't even live in this country. So, no, Nadine, no one in my family knows what I do."

He scowled and went back to examining every nook and crevice around the windows, giving her a moment to collect herself. She definitely hadn't expected him to tell her those things about his family. It was too bad about his mother, but she could relate to having lost a parent. And to having the other one not give a shit. Her father died when she was two, and her mother had left her and her sister to the care of their aunt and disappeared.

"Don't think you've got the monopoly on crappy families," she warned him, wagging a finger at his back and watching his shoulder stiffen. "Mine's the other way around – my father died, and my mom didn't give the requisite two shits to stick around with us."

He turned slowly, watching her warily, wondering why, as she was telling him this, there was still an odd lilt to her voice, light in her eyes. "At least your sister's not locked away in a mental institution. Although, who knows, maybe she is. You never exactly said."

It took him a minute to be able to respond. "…She's not."

Nadine nodded sagely. "It'd explain a lot, though. If she was."

He did his best to fight a smile, but didn't even come close to succeeding. "You're completely fucking deranged."

"And you're melodramatic," she teased. "Tell me more about the Thieves' Code. What else does it say? Do you have to eat only vegetables on Friday? Always compliment each other on your lock-picks? Hop three times and kneel before Zod?"

Johnny growled, but she could tell he was laughing. "Well, since you're so interested…We can't have families of our own. No marriage, no children."

Her jaw dropped at that, and Johnny shrugged. "But it works out okay, because we're all still pretty young. Trust me, _no one_ is thinking about getting married."

"…And if one of you ever wants to?"

"Then he leaves the organization," Johnny shrugged. "Not that big a deal. You're looking at me like it's some kind of human rights violation. Jesus Christ, _now_ who's being melodramatic?"

"If I didn't like these shoes so much, I'd throw one at your head," she seethed as he laughed. "And what do you mean, all of you guys are young?"

"Ah, but I've said too much," Johnny grinned. "Let's see…what else does the Code say?"

"Does it say you suck? Because if it doesn't, it really should be amended."

He glared at her witheringly. "It says that we have to keep any and all information about the whereabouts of our accomplices completely secret. No exceptions. This means all colleagues, here, nationally, internationally, our dens, safe houses, districts, routes, hide outs, everything. Even those that quarter us when we can't get to a safe house or whatever."

"Internationally? Really? No way. You are so full of lies."

"Well, okay, maybe not totally internationally," he relented, "but we've got cells in France and England, and also in Egypt. That's three continents. It totally counts."

"Full. Of. Lies."

"You're going to be sorry when you're just riding your camel along the outskirts of Cairo, minding your own business, and someone steals the ancient scarab beetle brooch you always wear around your neck. Or the bejeweled dagger you always keep in your robes. You'll think, oh, if I'd only listened to Johnny, I would have known to watch my back because _his organization is international, bitches_."

"I'll think about just that as I'm clutching my scarab beetle brooch," she replied blandly. "Also, I'll be thinking, who the hell gives out scarab beetle brooches for Christmas gifts? Ever heard of Visa gift cards? Or wine?"

He laughed at that, but she wanted to know more.

"What else is there?"

He studied a large, gaudy painting on the wall and tested the frame, seeing if he could lift it on his own or if he'd need help.

"In unavoidable situations…we take the blame for someone else's crime, just because it buys the other person some time and helps him make his escape and stay free."

"…Have you ever done that?"

"Sure, I've been brought in and almost charged with…let's see…grand theft. You know you've made it when the charge goes from petty larceny to grand theft. I still remember what the target was – this mint condition Bentley, sweetest thing you ever saw-"

"I'm sorry, almost-charged? How did you escape those charges?! Especially if you stole a frigging Bentley!"

"Just as you said," Johnny smirked, grasping the frame securely with both hands. "I escaped. Got out at the last minute. That's what happens when you've got people all around you who are looking out for you."

"Our justice system at its finest."

"I couldn't agree more," Johnny said happily.

"You make me want to vomit," she grimaced, watching as he lifted the painting off its hook and slowly set it down on the floor. "Oh, my God, you were right…"

"Told you," he grinned. "A wall safe, just like I told you there would be."

She stared at the neat wall-mounted safe with the old-fashioned lock and dial. "How are you going to open it?"

"The easy way." He reached for his belt, locating one of the compartments and pulling out a very small vial of green liquid and a tiny sack of white powder.

"…What is that and should I be worried?"

Johnny shrugged. "Eh."

Nadine watched him pull out something else, something black, made of plastic, that she couldn't get a good look at. He bent slightly over the nearby wet bar and she could hear some faint clicking as he assembled whatever was in his belt. After a moment, he straightened and walked over to the safe, and she saw him carefully mount that little apparatus to the front, right by the dial, and then he struck a match and took three steps back.

"I love this shit," he chuckled, examining the green liquid in the vial. "You combine it with the thermite and it just kicks it into high gear. Cuts through steel like you wouldn't believe. And you only have to use…oh, shit."

Nadine did _not_ like the sound of that. "What?"

"I…" He looked up at her and his eyes were wide and nervous. "I…used 10ml instead of five."

She could feel herself tense up. "…What?"

"DOWN!" Johnny lunged at her, knocking her back against the wall two seconds before the makeshift bomb went off. Nadine's back hit the wall with a jarring thud and she felt the wind knocked out of her as Johnny quickly and expertly threw himself in front of her, shielding all of her from the controlled, little blast that still managed to shatter everything in the wet bar and knock Carly's shelves off the wall.

She barely cracked one eye open when everything settled, and Nadine could see the faint cloud of dust by the wet bar. The door to the safe was swinging open, creaking slightly, and she could hear Johnny's heart hammering in his chest as all six feet of pure muscle and grit pressed up against her. He felt her stir and turned his head, and she found herself looking directly up into his warm brown eyes. His lips almost brushed hers, passing close enough to make the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, and, without her permission, Nadine's fingers curled into his thick black sweater as he very slowly heaved himself off her.

Johnny's eyes passed over her face, stopping at her mouth as she sucked in a few deep, fast breaths, and his lips twitched as that familiar, mischievous, altogether incorrigible gleam made his eyes shine once more.

"If I can knock the wind out of you with five extra milliliters of thermite, imagine what I must be like in bed," he winked.

That snapped her out of whatever spell he'd cast. Nadine rolled her eyes and, with a huff, smacked him in the chest hard enough to push him back. She squeezed out from between him and the wall as Johnny laughed, and quietly took in the damage.

"…What did you do?"

"What?" He didn't look all that concerned. "The glasses broke and two shelves fell down. Big deal. It's not that bad. Look, the painting's still fine. Dusty, but fine."

Oblivious to her alarm, Johnny stalked over to the safe and pulled the door wide open. "Let's see what we've got here…"

"You destroyed a corner of Carly's office!"

"Nadine, you really need to learn to relax," he called over his shoulder. "Don't tell me you've never blown anything up."

"I HAVE NEVER BLOWN _**ANYTHING**_-"

"Really? Wow, I feel sorry for your past boyfriends."

She was mad enough to spit. "You know very well that I was going to say that I have NEVER blown anything up."

"Prude."

"Look at all the damage you caused!"

"Oh, my god," he groaned. "It was one safe, one wet bar and two shelves. And I guess this wall part here is a little burnt but the painting will cover that up. I should probably get it back up there, since there's nothing of interest in here."

Nadine looked over his shoulder and saw several vividly colored gemstones. "…What, you're not going to steal her jewels?"

Johnny looked at her as if she'd just offended him horribly. "Those aren't what I'm after."

And with that, he simply closed the door to the safe, tied the handle to the dial with some string since the mechanism was pitifully destroyed, wiped off his prints out of habit, and hefted the painting once more. Nadine watched as he hung it and made sure it was aligned perfectly, just like before.

"You are so weird."

He grinned and slung his arm around her shoulders, and, remarkably, she let him. "Come on. I heard some clanging in the vents. Let's go see what Jason and your friend are up to. If she's as big a prude as you are, I feel bad for the guy. And I barely even like him."

"Shows what you know," Nadine snipped. "You mentioned feeling sorry for my old boyfriends, huh? Well, 'prude' would have been the last word they ever used to describe me."

She shot him a dirty, mischievous look, the kind he'd practically invented, and sauntered out of Carly's office first, letting him simply stare after her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Merry Fucking Christmas | 08**

**.: Outside the Uniform Room :.**

Jason sighed and leaned against the door, arms folded over his chest. "Are you done yet?"

"Almost – hang on! Jeez."

He shifted his weight, rattling the door a little, hoping to hurry her along with at least the sound of his impatience. When he'd suggested that Elizabeth get up in the vents to see what she could find, she had adamantly refused to do so in her short dress. Though he was a little disappointed that he wouldn't be afforded what was sure to be a stunning view when he boosted her up, Jason suggested that she grab one of the uniforms from the room down the hall – the skinny black pants and small collared shirts the hostesses at the restaurant upstairs wore. She agreed, and was now taking forever.

"Come on, we can't hang around here all night."

"Why do _I_ have to do this? It's your stupid Thornbud."

"Rosebud," he corrected. "And you have to fucking do this because I'm too big to fit in the damn vents."

"Ooh, sweet-talk will get you everywhere, Jason."

He rolled his eyes, but not without a twinge of sheepishness. If only there was a way to hit a happy medium between his usual brusqueness and Johnny's egregious flirtatiousness. "Just come on."

Elizabeth opened the door so quickly that he almost didn't have time to react, and Jason would have tumbled to the floor at her feet were his reflexes not so sharp. As it was, he just kind of stumbled and bobbed like one of those inflatable arm-waving characters at used car lots, and she stared at him like he was an uncoordinated idiot.

"Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this."

She held her dress in her hand, and her heels dangled from her fingers. The uniform she'd selected was almost her size but she had to fold the pants up a little and stood barefoot on the carpet in front of him, barely coming up to his shoulder.

Jason gave her a quick perusal and tipped his head. "That'll work. Let's go."

"Where?" She trotted along after him, her feet pattering on the thin carpet as she tried to keep up with his brisk gait. "Where are we starting?"

He didn't answer and she soon found out when they were standing in the little employee lounge they'd been in earlier. Jason swept the table clear of the knick-knacks and kicked aside a chair or two, pulling a map from his pocket. He unfolded it carefully and laid it down, smoothing it with his hands. It was a blueprint of the hotel, and he had drawn lines and arrows on it in red marker.

"This is your route," he said, tracing a long finger along the red lines. "I'm boosting you into the vent right outside and you're going to go through along this path, looking for any containers or anything unusual up there – even a note taped to the vent wall or something. So look at the map for a minute, memorize your path, and let's go."

She stared at him like he was speaking in a foreign language. "I'm sorry, memorize my path? You're kidding, right? You have me going through the entire vent system!"

Jason clearly wasn't following. "Yeah, so? It can't take you more than, what, fifteen seconds to have it down. Just concentrate."

"Do _you_ have it memorized?" she challenged him, lifting her chin a notch.

Jason snorted and turned in the direction the map directed. "Sure. Hold true, then right, immediate left, hold true for three turns, left, immediate right, hold true for two turns, right, hold true for-"

"You're kidding," she interrupted, swiping loose tendrils of hair behind her ears. "What, do you have a photographic memory or something?"

Jason rolled his eyes and let a short breath out through his nose, and she realized with a twinge of pity that it was actually a display of great patience on his part. "There's no such thing as a photographic memory. What you mean is an eidetic memory. And yes, I guess I have an eidetic memory."

"Good thing you can't see into the future," she grumbled, forcing her hand to unclench from a fist. He'd see her popping him in the eye, that was for sure.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Jason spared her a sidelong glance and swept the map off the table. "Come on."

"But I have no idea where I'm going!"

"Which is why you'll keep this," he said, handing her a little earpiece he pulled out of his utility belt. It looked like a hearing aid. "I'll just tell you where to go, and you tell me what you see. I'll follow along."

Elizabeth carefully adjusted the piece in her ear and looked up at him uneasily. "All right. I think I've got it. Let's…do this."

"Great," he drawled, grabbing a chair on his way out of the lounge. She followed him slowly, watching as he hopped up on the chair and unscrewed the bottom plate of the vent right above the back entrance. It swung free easily and fell to the floor with a loud clatter, and Elizabeth bit her lip.

"Oh, don't look at me like that," Jason snapped, holding out his hand. "It's perfectly safe."

"You'll pardon me if I don't take the word of an armed robber," she smiled sweetly. "If that thing gives out, I expect you to break my fall."

He smirked and hopped off the chair, and Elizabeth took a deep, calming breath. "Ready?"

"Yeah. Okay." She was resigned to it by now, and tried not to notice the flutter in her stomach when his large, warm hands closed around her waist. He boosted her up onto his shoulder so she could grab the edge of the vent and peer in, and once she was comfortable there, Jason lifted her up all the way and she disappeared from view.

He started walking and spoke into his little microphone. "All right, here we go. Keep going straight."

"Got it."

"And…turn right. Now turn left. Keep going straight." The vents went through rooms and other unreachable parts of the hotel, so Jason just kept track of her position while walking along in the hallway. "See anything?"

"Lots of spiders."

"They're just bugs, they can't hurt you."

"No, but they're gross."

"They're not gross."

"Anything smaller than my hand with more than four legs is gross, Jason."

"Elizabeth, I am not using my Bluetooth headset to argue with you about what qualifies as gross," he grumbled. "Turn left, then immediately turn right."

"Oooh, I see something!"

He stopped immediately. "What? What do you see?"

"It's this…this wooden box. Hang on."

His heart leapt to his throat as he listened intently to some light clanging in the vent. This could be it – hell, this was probably it! Who left a box in the vents? This was it! "Well?"

"Hm, it's got these weird markings on it. Like, these weird designs. Kind of geometric? Does that mean anything to you?"

"I don't know," Jason replied honestly. "Open it."

"Can't. It's locked. But there's no key hole…"

Jason rolled his eyes. "That means it's probably not locked, it's probably a puzzle. Try to rig it open. You'll probably have to push it and slide it around a little."

"I'm working on it." More light clanging. "I…I think I got it. Okay, I got the thing opened. Now to just lift the lid…"

Jason bit his lip, his heart pounding.

"Oh, no!"

"What? What?"

"All the ghosts and demons and devils and bad things in the world are coming out!" she screeched right into his ear. "Oh, no! There are plagues and diseases and the Anti-Christ and the resurgence of PeeWee Herman's career! Aaa! I opened Pandora's Box!"

"Elizabeth." He resisted the urge to be childish and tell her he hated her, but that was a pretty accurate characterization of his feelings at the moment.

Her laughter rang in his ears, light and melodious. "That's what you get for being a bear."

"Just keep going," he snapped. "Maybe, if you don't pull anything else like that, I'll actually tell you how to get out of the vents instead of leaving you up there."

He heard her gasp. "You wouldn't."

"You really wanna try me?" He waited a beat, then added, "turn right."

"I hate you."

"Just keep going."

_Hallways…_

Nadine was walking a step ahead of him, and Johnny was playing with the little sash on the back of her dress as he followed.

"So tell me something."

"Three of the six men that played the Three Stooges were brothers," Nadine replied over her shoulder. "Your turn."

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Not like that. Answer something for me."

"Yeah?"

"If we'd met under other circumstances…" He studied her profile discreetly as they walked. "Would you have gone out with me or what?"

Nadine tapped her chin, pretending to think seriously about it. "Hmm…Pass."

"Ouch," Johnny whistled. "Can I ask why with such little attempt at polysyllabacy I am rebuffed?"

"Because you talk weird. And because you're kind of a dick."

Johnny grinned instantly and leaned down toward her, nudging her conspiratorially with his shoulder. "Ooh, speaking of-"

"STOP."

"…Fine." He glanced down at her as they walked side by side now. "I'd have gone out with you, you know."

"Oh, really?" This amused her. "And why is that?"

Johnny shrugged. "You're hot."

Nadine just shook her head, smiling despite herself. "Of course. It really doesn't take much with you, huh?"

He grinned down at her wolfishly. "Not really, no. Mine are simple pleasures, really."

"I believe it." She chuckled to herself as she picked at her nails. "So, uh, you guys done here? Obviously, you haven't found your Rosebud."

"Not done here," Johnny sighed. "We can't leave until we find the Rosebud. Hopefully Jason had some luck, if not, we'll meet up, put our heads together, and see what we can come up with. The game's not over until it's over."

"Damn it," she sighed. "I was hoping you'd be leaving shortly."

He cocked a brow at her. "Oh?"

"Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't enjoy running around breaking into things with a career criminal – Oh, wait." Nadine batted her lashes at him. "I don't."

Before she could draw another breath, Johnny turned and neatly cornered her, causing Nadine to back up into the wall without even touching her. Her eyes widened and her gaze flew up to meet his as he leaned closer, bracing his hands flat against the wall on either side of her bare shoulders. No part of his body touched her, but the raw heat of him seemed to bleed right through the green silk of her dress, right through her skin and into her bones as her lashes fluttered.

His gaze was heavy, his eyes hooded and smoldering as he looked down at her. When he spoke, his voice was gravelly and rough. "You wanna know what I think?"

He leaned a little closer and Nadine's hands came to rest on his chest before she even realized it. Her lashes fluttered as she felt his breath on her lips, but instead of kissing her, Johnny tilted his head to the side and she felt his breath on her earlobe now as he whispered to her.

"I think you protest too much." He stopped and gently kissed her neck, a touch so light and soft she could have sworn she imagined it. And as her heart did little flip-flops in her chest, Johnny pressed another kiss to the soft, sensitive skin, no doubt feeling her pulse jump at his nearness, before lightly raking his teeth over her earlobe. "I think you enjoy this far more than you want to let on."

Their bodies still weren't touching, except for his lips on the delicate shell of her ear. Nadine drew in a deep breath and held it, her hands clenching in his sweater into loose fists.

"I think you're the kind of girl that loves excitement," he purred, his breath hot in her ear. "You get off on the thrill, on the adventure, on something new. And you just don't get enough excitement in this little town, do you, Nadine?"

He kissed the underside of her jaw, a heavier touch, and Nadine had to bite her lip to stifle a gasp. His lips were hot and wet, but she was the one that was melting. "And even though you have no idea who I am…"

Another kiss where her neck met her jaw, and her hands traveled up to his shoulders, her arms wrapped around his neck. "…Or what I want, or when you'll see me again, you can't help but be caught up in this."

He pulled away slowly and looked down into her eyes. "Because it excites you. And you want to see where it'll take you."

Nadine met his gaze directly, her eyes narrowing slightly, and one of her hands crept a little higher, her fingers spearing through his dark hair, and she tugged him down toward her. Whatever was happening, there was no mistaking either of their intentions. Johnny leaned down, not needing any more encouragement from her, but before his lips could meet hers-

"What the fucking hell, John?"

His head snapped to the side and he saw Jason stalking down the hall toward him, having just turned a corner. "Wha-?"

"I can't trust you for ten minutes, can I?" he half-snarled as he drew closer. "We had a simple job – get in, get the Rosebud, and get out, but no, every time I fucking turn around, you're-"

Johnny growled and heaved himself away from the wall as Nadine cleared her throat and tried to look anywhere but at the two of them. "You have the worst timing of anyone I know, you piece of horse shit, you know that?"

"Oh, whatever," Jason snorted. "Just remember, we're here on business, not so you can make out with some random girl you barely know."

"Hey, that's my first priority _anywhere_ we go," Johnny countered. "I'm not sure who you think you've been hanging out with these past few years-"

"Where's Elizabeth?" Nadine, who'd gotten over her bashfulness, was now looking at Jason with a mixture of apprehension and suspicion. "Where is she? What did you do to her?"

"She's right there."

Nadine was sure she didn't see anyone. "Where?"

Jason pointed up at the vent running through the hallway. "Right there."

They heard a clanging, like the sound of a palm against sheet metal, and Jason smirked. "Told you."

"Oh, you are unbelievable," Nadine seethed, stalking toward him and stopping only when Johnny held his arm out and blocked her. "What the hell did you send her up there for? Why aren't _you_ the idiot running around in the vents like a rat?"

"I wouldn't fit," he replied simply. "Now move. We just have a little bit left to go. Elizabeth? Turn right."

Johnny looked down at Nadine and shrugged, and they both followed Jason down the hall as he resumed giving his reluctant partner directions. "Right. No, hold true. We've been over this, that means go straight. No, it's not a weird way to say go straight. Why would I say go straight when I can say hold true? Elizabeth, I am not having this discussion with you."

"I think he likes her," Johnny said, just loudly for Jason to hear, and he smirked when his friend sent him a withering look over his shoulder.

"What'll he do if he loves her?" Nadine grumbled. "Fit her with cement shoes?"

They snickered at that and Jason decided that if time permitted, he was going to throw both of them off the roof. Surely that wasn't an unreasonable reaction to these assaults.

"Okay, now turn left."

They all turned left.

"You should be coming up to the spot where I boosted you up," Jason was saying. "If you see a burst of light way up ahead, that's it. We're coming up on it from behind. I think we're going to have to call it, unless you find something in the next two minutes."

He chuckled at something she said, and Johnny and Nadine both quirked a brow at each other. "Funny," Nadine murmured. "I didn't think he was programmed to laugh."

"You know, I read the manual cover to cover when I got him," Johnny agreed. "I didn't even see 'laughter' mentioned in there once."

Jason glared at them both, the thought of throwing them off the roof no longer a possibility but a premonition.

"Okay, Elizabeth, when you get to the open panel, just swing down, legs first, and I'll grab-"

"WAAAUGH!" With a yell and a crash, the panel almost directly above Jason's head swung open as the vent gave way, and Elizabeth tumbled out. Nadine squelched a little shriek and Johnny started, but Jason's quick reflexes kept Elizabeth from crashing to the floor. He leapt forward, knees bent, and caught her neatly against his chest.

Breathing heavily, Elizabeth swiped her hair back and out of her face. Jason looked down at her in concern, and they both seemed to realize their position at the exact same time. Elizabeth blushed and Jason cleared his throat, fidgeting uneasily as he tried to figure out how to gently set the disoriented young woman down without just dumping her on the ground.

"Oh, I don't believe this," Johnny pretended to grouse with his hands firmly planted on his hips. Nadine caught on immediately and mimicked his stance as Jason and Elizabeth both turned around to look at them. "Just remember, we're here on business, not so you can make out with some random girl you barely know."

Elizabeth's jaw dropped and if looks could kill, Jason would have had murder in the first degree added to his long list of charges. Recovering quickly, Elizabeth gently patted Jason's chest to let him know he could set her down, then scrambled out of his arms and smoothed her untucked shirt and pants.

"It, um, it gave way underneath me."

"Yeah, I figured," Jason muttered, looking up at the vent. "Oh, well. We were done anyway."

"How'd you know where I was?"

He looked down at her like she'd grown a second head. "Elizabeth, I was following you the whole time."

She blinked, then snapped her mouth shut. "Oh."

"Well, if you two kids are done with this shameless display of affection," Johnny interjected, causing Jason to grit his teeth, "we have some things to figure out. We've combed this whole place over and we have nothing to show for it."

"You haven't checked the lobby," Nadine piped up, regretting it when both of the men looked at her.

"What? We've checked the lobby," Jason snorted. "That was the first thing we did. I checked the desk and everything."

"But you didn't check the main lobby," she pointed out. "You just went over the desk. Not the actual lobby where all the guests are."

Jason and Johnny looked at each other, and it was instantly decided. "Let's go."


	9. Chapter 9

**Note – **If you haven't already checked out the MFC soundtrack and want some new music, head to the Fanfiction Soundtrack forum up toward the top. If you are reading this on , go here: . and look in the sidebar for the fanfic: general hospital tag. All fanfiction soundtracks are there.

**Merry Fucking Christmas | 09**

.: Lobby, MetroCourt Hotel :.

"All right, everyone just get out of the way," Jason ordered as he and Johnny marched back into the lobby with Elizabeth and Nadine in tow. The other men dressed in black moved forward after ushering everyone back toward the main desk. Carly finally got up from the planter base she was sitting on and carefully crept toward the main desk, exchanging pointed looks with her floor manager.

"This is the last place in the whole hotel," Johnny muttered, hands planted on his hips as he looked around the main lobby. "It's gotta be here somewhere."

"You also haven't checked the roof," Elizabeth pointed out, earning a few quizzical looks from the guests, most of whom looked quite relieved that the young women were unharmed. "It could be up there."

Jason snapped his fingers at her and looked toward one of the other men they came in with. "Good thinking. Guys, if we don't find it here, you two run up to the roof and see what you can find while we touch base with O'Hara and his group, maybe cut him in on this if he can figure something out."

"Cut him in on it?" Johnny didn't appear to like this idea and smacked his partner – hard – on the arm. "What the fuck? We're not cutting anyone in on anything. This is _ours_."

"I don't like it any more than you do," Jason sighed, setting his weapon on the coffee table he stood by. "But we went over the whole hotel, John. If we can't find it, we're going to need some help. And we'll have to cut that bastard in on it."

"That just means we'll have to find it, then," his friend grumbled, stalking past him toward the planters that framed the door. "Let's do this. Fan out."

Nadine slipped her hand into Elizabeth's and gave it a light tug, and together they started inching back toward the other guests. But Johnny wasn't so easily distracted.

"Nadine, sweetheart, why don't you and Elizabeth pull apart those couches, see what you can find," he smiled sweetly before beginning to dig around in the artificial soil that grounded the two small Christmas trees by the doorway. "Thanks."

Nadine shot Elizabeth a sour look and they sullenly did what they were asked, removing couch cushions and searching the base of each of the four small couches placed in the lobby. While they were doing that, Jason was upending all the tables in the room, looking for anything taped to the bottom – a key, a clue, anything that would let him know they were on the right track.

"Nothing in these," Johnny announced, dusting the dirt off his hands and backing away from the two nearly destroyed planters. He moved on to the four others in the room, each one containing a small tree, and was assisted by two of the men that came in with him.

"Nothing in the couches, either," Elizabeth announced, standing up as Nadine replaced the last cushion. Jason had no luck and Johnny turned up similarly empty-handed, and while the men conversed in low tones, Nadine once again grabbed Elizabeth's hand and tugged her back toward the safety offered by the large number of guests standing by the main desk.

Elizabeth kept her eyes trained on Jason and Johnny while she slowly backed away, but Nadine was a little less coordinated, and the back of her leg bumped a tall pedestal bearing a vase, causing it to rattle.

Both Jason and Johnny immediately stopped talking at the sound, and Elizabeth cringed when their heads instantly snapped to stare at them. But then she noticed that the boys weren't staring at her and Nadine – no, instead, they were staring at the column.

Within seconds, they were at their sides, right by the column that Nadine had almost knocked over. Johnny hefted the large vase easily and when he shook it, it rattled. He turned to Jason and grinned. His partner grinned back and produced what looked like a little mallet. He struck the opaque vase hard enough to create a huge crack, and as Johnny forced it apart, Jason easily reached inside and grabbed a circular object with a triumphant whoop.

"There it is! We got it!"

"The Rosebud," Johnny grinned, dumping the pieces of the shattered vase on the floor as he studied their prize. "Finally, after all that work."

"Okay, I've gotta see this." Nadine put a hand on Johnny's shoulder, moving him out of the way so she could see what Jason held, then let out a snort. "Oh, are you completely kidding me?"

"What? What is it? I wanna – Oh." Elizabeth blinked at the large snowglobe in Jason's hands. "That's…that's it?"

"That's it," Jason beamed, and she realized belatedly that she was more fascinated with the ecstatic twinkle in his eyes and the easy curve of his lips as he smiled than with the stupid snowglobe. "Damn."

Nadine turned to Johnny and, much to the horror of the other partygoers, punched him in the arm. "You're kidding me. You have to be kidding me!"

"Ow, woman," Johnny snarled, turning away and rubbing his arm. "Not with the ring-hand."

Nadine jabbed him in the chest, her mouth pinched into a tight line. "That. Is a fucking. Snow globe."

"I'm aware of that," he replied like he was talking to a three year old.

She jabbed at him again. "_That_ is what we've been chasing around all night? A stupid snow globe?"

"Uh, it's not stupid," Jason snorted, looking at her like _she_ was the one that was completely insane. "Please. It's the Rosebud."

"Yeah, no one sprained any muscles there," she groused, referring to the connection with the movie she and Johnny had argued about earlier.

"Yeah, because _Citizen Kane _is only one of the best movies ever," Jason snorted again, shaking his head at Elizabeth as if to say, _these are the kinds of people you hang out with? _"Why mess with a classic?"

Nadine looked like she was about to scream. "You barged into the hotel with guns a-blazing and blew up a safe and made poor Elizabeth crawl through the vents for A STUPID FUCKING SNOW GLOBE?"

"Not stupid," Jason repeated, as Johnny added, "It's the Rosebud."

"Okay, let's hold on a second here," Elizabeth broke in as Nadine tried to strangle Johnny. "You guys were…seriously…after a snow globe this whole time?"

Jason nodded, holding it up to her inspection. "Yep. This was what we wanted."

"Then why do all this?" Nadine yelled, throwing her arms up in the air. "Why come in here with guns? Why black out the windows? Why threaten to hurt people? Why tear this place apart for a stupid thing that Target probably has for ten bucks?"

Jason frowned at his partner. "…What's a Target?"

"That's what I wanted to know," Johnny burst out as Elizabeth physically restrained Nadine before she could pull her hair out. "Stupid girls and their code words."

Jason turned back to Nadine. "And also – what are you talking about? Weapons? Threats…?"

"Oh." Johnny lightly smacked his arm as he nodded with recognition. "She's probably referring to the way you barged in here, and your typical brusque demeanor. I told you that was going to get you in trouble one of these days."

"Uh, yeah, and that delightful little Uzi sitting on the coffee table," Nadine spat, pointing at Jason's weapon. "What the _fuck_? For a snow globe?"

"Uzi…?" Jason stared at the gun before it dawned on him. "Oh. Ohhhh. No, no, there's a really simple explanation for all that-"

"EVERYONE FREEZE! HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!"

He didn't get a chance to explain because just then, the front doors were kicked open as a dozen police officers burst in and fanned out. A couple of the women shrieked, including Nadine, and Jason and Johnny looked at each other, each one rolling his eyes as he slowly raised his hands.

"Not this shit again," Johnny sighed as an officer quickly frisked him and removed his utility belt. "I swear, it's always the same. I get so tired of it."

"Yeah," Jason agreed as he was cuffed. An officer carefully bagged the snow globe as another moved to protectively usher the two women back. "What can you do? People over-react. You wanna call Ric or should I?"

And Elizabeth and Nadine could only watch in mute horror as the men were dragged away.


End file.
